“To-don’t” lists…

I’ve always thought of guilt as a type of shame attached to stories we tell ourselves, that we’re not doing enough…

But I now see guilt as tied to unhealthy expectations—being overly optimistic about what we “should” accomplish in a day, week, or even on a summer holiday. Part of the problem stems from a culture of “to-do” lists… It’s no wonder we feel constantly agitated about what we didn’t do. The to-do list culture is setting us up for guilt…

The key to breaking the zapping cycle of guilt is to reset expectations, especially the ones that are forced upon us. 

—Rachel Botsman (Author, celebrated TED talk speaker, creator of Oxford University’s first course on trust in the digital world at the Said Business School)  

My favourite therapist has a similar philosophy. He believes, based on 40 years of private practice, in challenging our notions of duty and obligation. I’ve taken his advice to heart and I’m the happier and less stressed for it. For me, certain family obligations had to give because they were making me feel bad. I could see no hope of improvement in the scenario, after far too many years of trying, so I gave myself permission to back away. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl