“The Power of Onlyness”…

In her book The Power of Onlyness, Nilofer Merchant describes how each of us stands in a spot in the world where only each of us stand in, a function of our history and experience, visions and hopes. Onlyness is talking about how the distinct points of views and perspectives we each have allow us to add value in the world.

For example, early in my career, I’ve been guilty of assuming that a former colleague was aloof at work - it turns out that he was a single parent with three kids, working two jobs and a mortgage to deal with. Or  there was that time that I stereotyped millennial co-workers of being entitled because they are quick to ask for promotions and raises - I later learned that the Millennial generation has more debt than any generation that came before them coming out of college and they just need the money to keep going, to cover living expenses.

When we meet people in their onlyness, that spot in the world where they stand, we don’t see them as someone aloof or a millennial, you see them as Joey, Mara - we find the common space. Once we find the common space, the psychology of attraction kicks in, and when it does, we find a commonality between us and this leads to liking, establishing authentic relationships. 

— Dux Raymond Sy (Chief Brand Officer, AvePoint and Microsoft MVP and Regional Director) 

I like this idea of “onlyness”. I am making a very strong mental note, so that when I feel the urge to compare myself to others (and feel I should be more successful or further ahead financially, which inevitably takes the wind out of my sales and demands considerable energy to pick myself back up and resume striving toward my hopes and dreams again) I remember to stay the course, my course. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl