1. Too much time on worrying
2. Not showing my real feelings to people I love
3. Caring too much about what others think
4. Not following my passion
5. Not fully living in the present and enjoying the amazing moments
6. Not enough travel
7. Not dare to take risks
8. Too little quality time with loved ones
— Lifehack
The two I want to work on most are; “Too much time on worrying” and “Not fully living in the present and enjoying the amazing moments.” Just sayin’ : ) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
You have the power to heal yourself, and you need to know that. We think so often that we are helpless, but we’re not. We always have the power of our minds. Claim and consciously use your power.
— Louise Hay
It took me a few failed relationships to realize that unresolved issues stood between me and my happily ever after. Nothing debilitating, but I certainly didn’t come to relationships armed with excellent communication skills, the ability to express my needs/wants and the capacity to invite my partners to express themselves for the betterment of the relationship. Some great coaching and relationship skills workshops made all the difference. Just sayin’ : ) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
No one is going to rescue you from yourself - your inner demons, your lack of confidence, your dissatisfaction with yourself and your life. Only self-love and good decisions will rescue you.
— enlightened-consciousness.com
Personally, I relied on great coaching and relationship skills seminars. I can’t take full credit. I went to therapy to save my marriage, at the urging of my then husband. The marriage didn’t last, but the emotional support and new skills led me to the love of my life and the most healthy and supportive relationship ever. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Growth is painful.
Change is painful.
But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong
— Unknown
Ouch. Reminds me of my own blunder in this department. Deep down (in my heart, my soul, my gut) I knew I needed to end my last relationship. I dragged my heels for a few reasons. My brain just kept turning the decision over and over again. I was worried that I wouldn’t find a better relationship because this one was more civilized, kind and pleasant than all my others put together. You always hear that relationships are work and so I also wondered if things could improve with better communication and potentially assistance from a professional. I thought I’d give it a bit more time. In truth though, I was already on the outside of the relationship, looking in. Little did I know my boyfriend at the time was actually well into another relationship. Double ouch. My bad. After that I learned to trust my instincts. I know to look for the red flags, rather than stuffing them in the closet. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
We think sometimes that poverty is only being hungry, naked and homeless.
The poverty of being unwanted, unloved and uncared for is the greatest poverty.
We must start in our own homes to remedy this kind of poverty.
— Mother Teresa of Calcutta
My favourite therapist says that in abusive homes, children may feel unloved most of the time. Even in loving homes, children can feel unloved up to forty percent of the time. He says it’s up to us to make up the difference, by taking great care of ourselves now, as responsible adults (and sometimes that requires professional assistance and support). Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
It wasn’t burnout — we still had energy. It wasn’t depression — we didn’t feel hopeless, we just felt somewhat joyless and aimless. It turns out there’s a name for that: languishing.
Languishing is a sense of stagnation and emptiness. It feels as if you’re muddling through your days, looking at your life through a foggy windshield. And it might be the dominant emotion of 2021... the acute state of anguish has given way to a chronic condition of languish... It’s the void between depression and flourishing — the absence of well-being... dulls your motivation, disrupts your ability to focus and triples the odds that you’ll cut back on work. It appears to be more common than major depression... languishing is common and shared... By acknowledging that so many of us are languishing, we can start giving voice to quiet despair and lighting a path out of the void.
— Adam Grant (Organizational psychologist at Wharton, author of Think Again: the Power of Knowing What You Don’t Know and host of the TED podcast WorkLife)
Grant recommends uninterrupted time each day to feel transported; watch a trending Netflix drama, work on a challenging project, have a meaningful conversation, anything that will allow us to rediscover some of the energy and enthusiasm we’ve missed all these months. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Don’t complain.
Just work harder.
— Jackie Robinson (First African American to play Major League Baseball in the modern era. He was inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame in 1962).
I challenged myself to work harder for greater job security. Although losing my high profile job during the 2008 world financial crisis of 2008 wasn’t necessarily my fault, I wanted to be very difficult to let go moving forward. I’ve had the very best career years/earning years of my life ever since. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Friendly reminder that “doing your best” does not mean working yourself to the point of mental breakdown.
— Unknown
From everything I’ve been reading, most of us are struggling with concentration right now. Who can blame us. There are ongoing pivots, adjustments, restrictions and we don’t have a lot of healthy outlets. Covid is kicking our butts in sooooo many ways. Hang in there! We’re gonna get through this. Think of the party when this is all over! Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Michael Jordan Top Rules For Success
1. Keep working hard.
2. Be different.
3. Have high expectations.
4. Fail your way to success.
5. Stop making excuses.
I’m always curious about what motivates and inspires each of us. I do know that some very talented, brilliant people are sidelined by legitimate mental health issues. Others devote much of their lives to family, setting aside personal ambition. Maybe we’re not all meant to be stars per se. Maybe it’s enough to do the best we can each day. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Staying positive does not mean that things will turn out okay. Rather it is knowing that YOU will be okay no matter how things turn out.
— Unknown
Yes! I like that! I knew there was a reason for my blind (and sometimes almost delusional) optimism, Lol. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
1. Everything is temporary
2. Life isn’t always fair
3. Family > everything
4. Kindness goes a long way
5. A lifetime is isn’t as long as you think.
6. The biggest risk is not taking any
7. You’re responsible for your own happiness
— Daymond John
I have a couple of thoughts... First, family isn’t always a support system, as some people have challenging relationships with one or both parents and sometimes their siblings as well. Second, I totally agree regarding responsibility for our own happiness. I learned how to pick up all the pieces from my difficult childhood from a savvy life coach. No question I was a bit stuck when it came to a childhood that did not feel loving and supportive. I don’t know if I was stuck in victim mode, but I think my past stood in the way of enjoying loving, drama free relationships. Happily, I’ve made huge strides in resolving past baggage and I’ve learned life changing communication/relationship skills from trusted coaches and weekend workshops. I’ve also managed to created my own brand of “family” with like minded, kind and caring souls. (Ps. I highly recommend the work of Joel Brass, if you’re curious to learn more and you live in BC, Canada). Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
If you’ve ever thought about starting a journal, there’s no time like the present. The Wall Street Journal tells us even just 10 minutes a day can be game-changing and beneficial to our physical and mental health. If you’re struggling with what to put down on paper, one expert says to be the “hero” of your own story. Writing about the life you want to have can help you manifest that life.
— Monica Fike, Editor at LinkedIn News
There is much consensus around writing out/formalizing our dreams as the key to achieving them. I have found this exercise to be calming, inspiring and motivating. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Reading doesn’t just cram information into your brain. It changes how you’re brain works. This can be short term. Different experts disagree on some of the finer details, but a growing body of scientific literature shows that reading is basically an empathy workout. By nudging us to take the perspective of characters very different than ourselves, it boosts our EQ. This effect can literally be seen in your brain waves when you read. If a character in your book is playing tennis, areas of your brain that would light up if you were physically out there on the court yourself are activated.
— Jessica Stillman @entrylevelrebel
I don’t know about you, but information sometimes falls out of my head as quickly as I can cram it in there. Unlike my genius brother, I’ve never had anything close to a photographic memory! Very cool to know my brain continues to develop regardless, Lol. Just sayin’ ; ) Hugs. XO
Blessing,
Chatgirl
Champions aren’t made in gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them. A desire, a dream, a vision. They have to have last minute stamina. They have to be a little faster. They have to have the skill and the will. But the will must be stronger than the skill.
— Muhammad Ali
I’m always fascinated by the question of genetically given skill/talent vs passion and will? Perhaps passion and determination are largely based in genetics as well? The old nature vs nurture argument rages on. Actually, Ali had faith in spades and perhaps his belief fuelled him to become “The Greatest”. (Ali is widely regarded as one of the most significant and celebrated sporting figures of the 20th century, frequently ranked as the best heavyweight boxer and greatest athlete of the century). Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
I’m the greatest. I said that even before I knew I was.
— Muhammad Ali
There is much consensus around this philosophy. They say we must believe, then we can conceive and then we can achieve. I often need to “quiet” my brain because it squirrels on the how. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
I don’t count my sit-ups. I only start counting when it starts hurting. When I feel pain, that’s when I start counting because that’s when it really counts.
— Muhammad Ali
Thank you for sharing champ. RIP. I’m gonna remember that when I’m doing my reps! Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
If my mind can conceive it, and my heart can believe it then I can achieve it.
— Muhammad Ali
I’ve read that we’re not supposed to worry about the how. We’re just supposed to put it “out there” and trust. Keep the faith! Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Since the pandemic hit, studies have shown that even though we’re taking fewer sick days, more workers are burning out because they’re working harder, longer and not taking holidays. Clinical psychologist Dr. Jodie Lowinger says employees aren’t taking mental health breaks, to avoid being considered weak or slacking. But our “suck it up and get on with it” attitude is having a negative effect, with estimates that mental ill-health costs billions per year. She says making mental health days a normal part of work life will go a long way to improving employee productivity and happiness.
— ANdrea Beattie, Editor at LinkedIn News
Personally, I waited all year to take vacation in the hopes that borders would open and warm travel would resume. No such luck. I was told to take time off or lose it and found the days off underwhelming to say the least. Unless you’re an outdoorsy person (which I am totally NOT, unless you count swimming in a pool or hanging out on a boat, Lol), there isn’t much to do. I ended up cleaning out some closets and drawers and inevitably felt drawn back into work given the blurry lines of work/home. I did manage to find a few fun things to do, but for me there is no substitute for jet setting to a warm and sunny destination. Gotta hang in there a little longer though. At least the days are longer, weather’s getting warmer and vaccine roll out is in full force. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
If someone tells you “you can’t” they’re showing you their limits, not yours!
— @wordsworthbillians
My parents were overly protective (big fears), which instilled certain anxieties in me, unfortunately. They also relied on tough love and tended to punish somewhat excessively. Ouch. I certainly learned how to be considerate, friendly and polite, which is a positive. I also learned how to over-function though, which sometimes prevents me from relaxing fully. It’s taken me years and years (and much therapy, time and money) to reverse certain tendencies and defence mechanisms. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief and once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things being to happen.
— Muhammad Ali
Fake it until we make it kind of thinking. I like it. Personally, I have relied heavily on this strategy, particularly when hope is waning and there is no lifeline in sight. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
I am grateful for all my victories.
But I am especially grateful for my losses. Because they only made me work harder.
— Muhammad Ali
I can relate. My own personal losses motivated me to work harder at my fantastic day job (which I had begun to take for granted and then lost during the 2008 financial crisis) and inspired me to pursue my entrepreneurial passions, which may be on their way! Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
What keeps me going is goals.
— Muhammad Ali
Even in therapy, they give you goals, Lol ;) I remember my favourite seminar leader teaching our group about a sound strategy for finding the perfect mate. He says we should be aware of our deal breakers and then keep a close eye out for red flags. The idea is to spend less time with people who do not align with our lifestyle must haves, needs and wants. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Problems are our best friends, because they really inspire ideas and ways to create. This lesson was driven home to me while shooting Deadpool. Every time the studio took money away from our budget, we replaced whatever set piece we lost with character. Eventually that became the hallmark and defining characteristic of that property. People don’t remember saving-the-world kind of nonsense. They remember what he said, or how he reacted to a moment.
— Ryan Reynolds (Actor/producer of Deadpool 1 and 2, and writer of Deadpool 2. Ps. It took Reynolds a decade to get Deadpool made, as the studios were skeptical)
I don’t know about you, but I find perspective easier to achieve in hindsight. While I’m in the middle of a “problem” I’m typically stressed, Lol. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Me: Be kind, you never know what someone is going through.
Also me: Nice turn-signal f - - k face.
— Unknown (Facebook post)
I resemble that remark! ;) We’re not perfect, are we, Lol ;) Just sayin’ ;)
Blessings,
Chatgirl
‘We are already doing enough’: Giving yourself permission to be lazy
Laziness is often tied to a negative connotation, linked to a lack of motivation or productivity. But some argue laziness can act as a form of self-care... Experts say we need to give ourselves permission to be lazy because oftentimes it’s our bodies telling us we need a break... Social psychologist and author of Laziness Does Not Exist, Devon Price, says “We understate how bad burnout is. The term makes it sound like you’re just tired of working when it’s really almost like a trauma response and a really severe, depressive episode.” Additionally, when our minds are idle in times of laziness, we start focusing on long-term goals and creative ideas, according to a 2012 study published in Consciousness and Cognition. We need to recognize that though we always feel the urge to do more, we are already doing enough.
— Pia Araneta, Global News
I don’t know about you, but I’m finding the whole work/home blur thing pretty lifeless and mind numbing. Ahhhhh! Luckily there IS a light at the end of the tunnel, with vaccines rolling out at a better clip. Fewf! Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
I hated every minute of training, but I said, “Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.”
— Muhammad Ali (American boxer, activist, entertainer, and philanthropist. Nicknamed The Greatest, he is widely regarded as one of the most significant and celebrated figures of the 20th century and as one of the greatest boxers of all time).
You’d think Ali would have thrived on the pain of training, with determination in his every fibre. Kinda let’s us off the hook a bit if we’re struggling to keep in shape at times. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Follow your instincts. That’s where true wisdom manifests itself.
— Oprah Winfrey
When I’m not able to make an informed decision, I follow my spidey senses. Actually, sometimes I follow my gut, despite the facts. My instincts seems to be winning, so I’m trying to further cultivate those savvy senses. It’s pretty cool actually. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
6 months of focus and hard work can put you 5 years ahead in life.
Don’t underestimate the power of consistency and desire.
— Unknown
I found fear to be a powerful motivator in achieving consistency and results. I never thought I’d EVER be out of work because jobs are a dime a dozen in my field. Enter financial crisis of 2008. Whoa... I hadn’t exactly saved for a rainy day either because I was used to being head hunted on a regular bases. Double whoa! I managed to find a life line back to my former life and one thing had become very clear. I would need to work harder than ever before, become indispensable, and save for a rainy day in order to protect and secure my future. This life altering experience led to my dream job, my highest earning years and a fancy new entrepreneurial opportunity. None of this would have happened without the job loss and a very stressful three to five years. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
