Honest conversations...

Until men and women start having honest conversations about who they truly are, what demons they battle with, where they lack and what they truly want... love will continue to be a temporary emotion...

Honesty and Communication are the key.

— Unknown author

The most profound and beneficial training I’ve ever received (from therapy/coaching sessions/relationship workshops) is learning how to own and express what I’m feeling, what I need and summing it all up in the form of a request. My mate and I are committed to this sort of intimate and caring communication.  Brilliantly, friction continues to be at an all time low... at least in my world of relationships (my parents argued, but not much was ever resolved!). Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

“Trauma permanently changes us”...

“This is the big, scary truth about trauma: there is no such thing as “getting over it.” The five stages of grief model marks universal stages in learning to accept loss, but the reality is in fact much bigger: a major life disruption leaves a new normal in its wake. There is no “back to the old me.” You are different now, full stop. 

This is not a wholly negative thing. Healing from trauma can also mean finding new strength and joy. The goal of healing is not a papering-over of changes in an effort to preserve or present things as normal. It is to acknowledge and wear your new life — warts, wisdom, and all — with courage.”

— Catherine Woodiwiss 

I have certainly found much empowerment on the other side of my own personal trauma. There was a great deal of pain living through the trauma and also in resolving some of the PTSD, however, facing the past seems to cultivate a deeper capacity for compassion, empathy and resiliency. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO 

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Burnout city...

“Around the world, three out of every five workers say they’re burned out. A 2020 US study put that figure at three in four... When an assignment to write this essay appeared in my in-box, I thought, Oh God, I can’t do that, I’ve got nothing left, and then I told myself to buck up. The burnout literature will tell you that this too— the guilt, the self-scolding—is a feature of burnout.”

— Jill Lepore (Staff writer at The New Yorker, professor of history at Harvard and author of 14 books). 

I feel so much better now, Lol. I’m not typically a procrastinator, but during Covid the most routine tasks have felt exhausting to me. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

More communication...

A little communication goes such a long way. If you’re busy, say it. If you’re upset, express it. If you’re running late, let people know. If you don’t want to do something, be straightforward. If you’re unsure, ask. It’s so simple but so important. 

— tinybuddha.com 

What I’ve learned is that how things are said is equally important. If there is blame and judgment, the outcome may not be positive. Rather, my favourite therapist says we should speak about how we are feeling and welcome the other person to do the same. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Communicate!...

Even when it’s uncomfortable or uneasy. 

One of the best ways to heal, is simply getting everything out.

— TheMindsJournal

This is something I learned from my favourite therapist. My default used to be brooding silence, Lol. This of course got me nowhere. I think I was afraid of “negative emotions” because my upbringing was full of rage, which was terrifying to my younger self. I’ve learned how to communicate, even while verklempt, thanks to my brilliant coaches. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Buried painful memories...

A trigger is the connection between the conscious mind and a buried painful memory.

— Unknown

I learned a lot about triggers from my favourite therapist. He instructs on how to identify and resolve  problematic triggers, which can alleviate some of our overreactions. As painful as it may be, he says we typically need to revisit our old pain points in order to resolve them. He also says this kind of work is not for the faint of heart. On the other side, fortunately, is better communication, better quality relationships and a better life. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

It’s our souls that are tired...

No, we don’t need more sleep. It’s our souls that are tired not our bodies. We need nature. We need magic. We need adventure. We need freedom. We need truth. We need stillness. We don’t need more sleep, we need to wake up and live.

— Brooke Hampton (Owner of Enchanted Cedar, a local Chaga house and bookstore in Lorena, Texas and author of Enchanted Cedar: The Journey Home). 

I don’t know about you, but work-life balance is huge for me. If I don’t schedule some fun and rest into my day/week I can get pretty cranky and listless. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl