Wednesday, November 18, 2020

The gift of tact (especially in 2020!)...

Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy.

— Isaac Newton (Astronomer, physicist, mathematician, natural philosopher, and surprisingly, an accomplish theologian. Newton was ranked SECOND in the book The 100: A Ranking of the Most Influential Persons in History). 

A philosophy that seems of particular importance in these unprecedented, surreal times. Covid living is a struggle for most of us and perhaps isn’t bring out the best in us. I like Dr Bonny Henry’s (Provincial Health Office for BC) phrase: “Be kind. Be calm and be safe.” We can try! Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 





Tuesday, November 17, 2020

F.A.I.L (first attempt in learning)...

If you ever fail, don’t stop. (F.A.I.L means first attempt in learning)

It is not the End. (E.N.D means effort never dies)

If someone tells you “no” (N.O. means next opportunity) 

— Breakthrough Empire  

So many success stories are defined by a crazy number of attempts. Colonel Sanders started at 65 and “failed” 1009 times before succeeding. Makes me feel better about my own, as yet, unanswered efforts. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO 

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Saturday, November 14, 2020

“Paradox mindset”...

Over a series of studies, psychologists and organizational scientists have found that people who learn to embrace, rather than reject opposing demands show greater creativity, flexibility and productivity. The dual constraints actually enhance their performance. Researchers call this a “paradox mindset.” Although this concept may sound counter-intuitive, it is inspired by a long history of research showing that contemplation of apparent contradictions can break down our assumptions, offering us wholly new ways of looking at the problem. 

Harvard University psychiatrist Albert Rothenberg was among the first to investigate the idea formally, with a study in 1996 of acclaimed geniuses. Interviewing 22 Nobel laureates, and analyzing historical accounts of deceased world-changing scientists, he noted that each revolutionary thinker had spent considerable time “actively conceiving multiple opposites or antithesis simultaneously.” 

... Those without the paradox mindset, in contrast, tended to crumble, and struggled to maintain their performance when resources were scarce.

— Loizos Heracleous and David Robson (Why they ‘paradox mindset’ is the key to success, bbc.com)

Very interesting. I think I’ll be able to remember this when faced with difficult decisions and a competing list of pro’s and cons. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 




Wednesday, November 11, 2020

Allow it. Release it...

Feel the feeling but don’t become the emotion.

Witness it. Allow it.

Release it.

— Crystal Andrus (From life as a homeless teen to coaching A-list celebrities and author of four best-selling self-discovery and personal transformation books).

My favourite therapist says we need to feel our feelings in order to set them free (especially the deep seated, long standing ones from childhood). Otherwise, our emotions can act like programs, running in the background, potentially interfering with our closest relationships and sense of well being. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 




Monday, November 9, 2020

No...

Things to Know About Life

“No” is a complete sentence.

It does not require justification or explanation.

— Unknown

My favourite therapist says that a no response is about drawing boundaries for our personal well-being. Interestingly, he says people typically respond very well when our intention is self care. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 


Sunday, November 8, 2020

A vision for the future...

Love is better than anger.

Hope is better than fear.

Optimism is better than despair.

So let us be loving, hopeful & optimistic 

And we’ll change the world.

— Jack Layton (From a letter written in his final says to New Democrats and Canadians, in which he looked toward the future, refusing to let his vision of Canada die). 

Now this is a vision I can get behind. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO  

Blessings,

Chatgirl 



Saturday, November 7, 2020

Coping with a terrible day...

* Focus on a familiar activity. (Find a task on your to-do list that’s satisfying but so familiar that it’s not taxing). 

* Tackle an unfamiliar task you’ve been avoiding. (Will help you feel competent and on track). 

* Do half your usual work. (So you don’t feel overwhelmed. Consider taking a mental health day). 

* Connect with others. (Loneliness increases stress and reduces productivity). 

* Drop your fear of negative emotions. (Sadness can enhance creativity and anger can make us more determined). 

— Alice Boyes, PhD clinical psychologist turned author (From Feeling Overhwelmed? Here’s How to Get Through the Workday, Harvard Business Review) 

My favourite therapist says our “negative” emotions provide much insight and can help guide us in setting healthier boundaries. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl