Whatever flows flows...

The biggest lesson I learned this year is to not force anything; conversations, friendships, relationships, attention, love. Anything forced is just not worth fighting for. Whatever flows flows. Whatever crashes crashes. It is what it is.

— Unknown

What comes to mind for me is timing, priorities and one friendship in particular. I know I’ve let someone down recently and that makes me sad. I would love to have the time and energy to be there for all of my friends, hands down. Unfortunately, my schedule is overwhelmed with work and other pressing matters, that are critical to my present and future. Outside of that, my energy level just isn’t supporting a burning the candle at both ends lifestyle, and my personal life is taking the hit. I hope my friend will understand one day. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

A path to forgiveness...

Remember, when you forgive, you heal.
And when you let go, you grow.

— Unknown

My favourite therapist says odds are we’re stuck because we have unresolved emotional triggers from our childhood/family of origin. When we’re young, we don’t have the capacity to understand and manage our emotional world, and so we drag the trauma around until we are able to process the past in a healthy way. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Setting limits...

Givers have to learn to set limits because takers don’t have any.

— Unknown

My favourite therapist talks a lot about limits and boundaries. For example, for an intimate, monogamous, committed relationship to have a real chance, both people need to have “ten toes in the circle.” He says if one person has less than ten toes in the circle, that person is not committed and the relationship is at risk. If the other person has too many toes in the circle, this does not indicate healthy love either. Both people have to be equally committed and engaged for the relationship to have a real shot at lasting success. Just sayin’ :). Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Tune in...

The more you trust your intuition, the stronger it gets. Listen.

— Anna Taylor (lifelifehappy.com)

My favourite therapist says to listen to the body; gut in particular, but anywhere else there is tension as well. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Signs of maturity...

You forgive more.
You respect differences.
You don’t force love.
You accept heartaches.
You don’t judge easily.
Small talk no longer excites you.
You become more open-minded.
Sleep is better than a Friday night out.
You sometimes prefer to be silent than to engage in a nonsense fight.
You are not dependent on others for your happiness.
Your happiness comes from your inner self.

— Unknown

The biggest thing I learned from my favourite therapist is that just because we are technically adults, doesn’t mean we’re armed with fantastic relationship skills. The public school system doesn’t teach this sort of thing and if our family of origin didn’t model things like conflict resolution/negotiation skills/anger management, then likely we missed out on some key learnings. (If you’re interested in learning more, check out Joelbrass.com). Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Different perspectives...

Before you argue with someone, ask yourself, is that person even mentally mature enough to grasp the concept of different perspectives? Because if not, there’s absolutely no point.

— Amber Veal, Written by GreatestTweets

My favourite therapists says, most importantly, if we allow for the sharing of  the thoughts/feelings/experience of all concerned, we lay the groundwork for greater compassion and better quality relationships. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Energy flows...

Where focus goes, energy flows.

— Tony Robbins

One of my trusted coaches taught me about setting intentions, which means being very specific about what we want, how we want to feel in our daily life, in our relationships, at work. She says the more detail, the better. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl