Respect yourself enough to walk away…

Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, 

grows you, 

or makes you happy.

— Robert Tew 

To be sure, I’ve struggled with this one, being the bleeding-heart, tolerant, peace keeper I’ve traditionally been. But I seem to be hitting an end of the road, so to speak. Be it my age, the state of the world (cost of living/scary climate change events/the war/increasing acts of violence) energy and time are at a serious premium and some cuts seem quite critical for my own well being. I don’t know about you, but just getting through the work week, chores and miscellaneous to-do’s, there’s not enough down time. Too much time on work, if you ask me (I thought technology was supposed to make our lives easier and save time!). Weekends and a bit of vacation time isn’t proving sufficient to recharge the old batteries. So! Week nights and weekend days need to provide ease, fun, rest and fulfilment, with anything anxiety causing needing to fall off the radar. Am I right? Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

A chance to show what we’re made of…

The struggle you’re in today 

is developing the strength you need 

tomorrow.

— Robert Tew, American writer

I absolutely KNOW that my most unpleasant, frightening experiences (near bankruptcy/divorce/devastating family experiences/betrayals) have led to a better life of abundance, love, fulfillment and success (by my own personal definition). Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t want to relive any of it. But it is pretty cool to look back and see just what you’re made of, when you’re up against the wall. In my opinion, an interesting question is, how does this personal growth affect my future and how I conduct myself? I envision coaching myself, saying “you know how to endure, you know how to survive and you have shown that you can thrive, whatever life brings. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Make peace with the wounds of your past…

Until you release the wounds of your past, you are going to bleed. You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex.

But eventually it will all ooze through and stain your life. 

You must find the strength to open your wounds, stick your hands inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past, the memories and make peace wth them.

— Iyanla Vazant (American inspirational speaker, lawyer with a Master’s degree in spiritual psychology, Yoruba ordained priestess, life coach, author and TV personality. Vazant’s expertise has “made her a multimedia high priestess of healthy relationships” according to Ebony magazine. She was also named to Oprah’s SuperSoul100 list of visionaries and influential leaders). 

My favourite therapist says this “work” (of dealing with our baggage) is not for the faint of heart, because our wounds are not something we can resolve over a weekend workshop or a quick few sessions of therapy. Making transformative peace with my past has occurred over a  25’ish year stretch and counting. Now, there has been progress along the way, thank goodness, but I continue to tinker and refine my emotional and relationship management. My biggest learning is a heightened awareness of personal boundaries and relationship deal breakers. For example; being adamant about a certain level of respect, being committed to excellent and clear communication and making sure both parties are factored into decision making and choices. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Cultivating hope (over fear)…

Hope is the only thing stronger than fear.

— Unknown

I know there are a few strategies for managing fear and anxiety. I really like the suggestion of replacing  fearful thoughts with happy, positive ones. I don’t know about you, but I absolutely love fantasizing about my dream life. It’s kinda like a mini vacay in the mind. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Healthy me time, and choices!…

Monthly reflections:

* My favourite memory of this month?

* My biggest challenge?

* I am so proud of myself for…

* What do I need to let go of from this month?

* What do I really want to happen this month?

— Unknown 

My biggest take away from traditional therapy/life coaching/energy work/an abundance of relationship workshops is that I need to have my own back, all the way. (Shout out to Joel Brass, my favourite therapist, who helped me find the love of my life and best friend, my dream job and the kind of financial freedom I’ve always dreamed of). It’s taken years to fully understand what having one’s own back means, and even recently I uncovered another layer to the story. In a nutshell, I would say it’s about boundaries, understanding one’s personal deal breakers and saying no to stuff that causes unnecessary anxiety, stress and unhappiness. For example, some mic drop no’s have come into clear view recently, and finally; people you need to walk on egg shells around, people who bad talk others, those who do a lot of blaming and who tend to have negative, unhappy and draining energy. I endured a lot of bad behaviour in my family of origin unfortunately, which would explain my somewhat high tolerance for challenging personalities. But I finally asked myself why would I knowingly choose to be around such stressful energy? There comes a time to actively seek peace, love and joy. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck (and just say no!). XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

 

What if failure is learning, not losing?…

Imagine if kids were taught that failing was learning, not losing.

— Rob Riker

I don’t know about you, but just reading that made me happy. I figure it’s never too late to embrace a new,  self-supporting perspective. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl  

Link between gut health and mental health…

New research from the University of Missouri School of Medicine has established a link between irritable bowl syndrome (IBS) and mental health challenges, such as anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation…

“One possible explanation is the so-called brain-gut axis,” said lead researcher Zahid Ijaz Tarar, MD, assistant professor of clinical medicine. “We’ve long suspected that dysfunction of the brain-gut axis is bidirectional, such that IBS symptoms influence anxiety and depression, and on the other hand, psychiatric factors cause IBS symptoms. Medical professionals need to treat both ends of the axis.”

— medicine.Missouri.edu

I’ve suffered gut/digestive issues my whole life and it took an alternative/spiritual practitioner to diagnose and solve my particular symptoms. (Not IBS per se. More stomach aches and a sort of paralysis of the entire system. Not fun. Even with all the help, the less I eat the better I feel. My practitioner said it’s like your body’s too busy trying to “digest” life around you and has less time and energy to deal with the processing of food). Pretty interesting stuff in my opinion. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl  

Why we suffer…

We suffer more in imagination than in reality.

— Seneca (A philosopher born over 2,000 years ago Spain, who drew from his own big ups and downs)

Ah yes, the worrying and scenario scrolling trap. So exhausting. I continue to work on better coping mechanisms; work outing, deep breathing, therapy session, get out in the sun or some other excursion, spill it on paper, where it somehow doesn’t seem as bad, etc. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

If it drains you…

If it drains you, it’s not for you.

Always remember that.

— Unknown 

Great reminder, and I’m taking stock. Having said that… I don’t know about you, but I find it hard to give up on certain family members or old friends. But I also know that energy and time are finite resources and something’s gotta give. Perhaps it’s a small doses decision. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Treating unhealed trauma can lead to miraculous remissions…

If you don’t make time for your wellness, you will be forced to make time for your illness.

— Joyce Sunada (Educator, speaker, coach and facilitator) 

People who are not responding to other treatment often have untreated, unhealed trauma, and treating that trauma can sometimes lead to seemingly miraculous radical remissions.

— Lisa Rankin

I ended up seeing a “Body Talk” practitioner many years ago because none of the traditional/natural/alternative medicines worked. I had stomach aches, and digestive issues all my life. I was diagnosed with “anxious tummy” and after my first Body Talk session and my issue began to resolve. I went to this practitioner to solve stomach issues and walked away with emotional healing as well. I grew up in a constant state of fear, with a rage-aholic father (Sorry Dad. Rest in peace. You were still amazing in many ways and I owe a lot to you. But the persistent anger, not good). If I hadn’t suffered physically, I would never have found the coaching I so desperately needed. My life is now fairly zen and my stomach issues are gone. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Progress is the best motivation…

Struggling with motivation?

Stop thinking about your big goals.

Aim to get 1% better every day.

Progress is the best motivation.

— Dr Alex Trevatt

Baby steps, right? Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl  

Success requires replacement…

Alcohol (or coffee) —> Water

Netflix —> Reading

Overthinking —> Action

Scrolling —> Exercise

Complaining —> Gratitude

Toxic friends —> Mentors

All nighters —> Sleep

Blame —> Accountability

Fast food —> Homemade food

— Unknown

I’m big on tips and tweaks that don’t kill me, and add value to my life, Lol ;) I heard Johnny Depp talk about how, at this point, 8 hours sleep is the bomb (Something to that effect anyhow). No question life is easier when you’re well rested. A friend of mine also shared some excellent advice from his personal trainer; if you want to lose weight and/or be more toned, simply drink more water and add extra vegetables to your diet. Way easier than being on a diet, per se. I’ve been drinking water while I drink alcohol and while I drink my morning coffee. This seems to reduce the negative effects of both quite a bit (less of a hang over and less wired). Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

 

Managing diet more important than exercise, for fat loss…

To burn 700 calories, you can:

1. Run for about an hour at a 10-minute pace.

2. Skip the large cinnamon dolce latte. 

And now you know why properly managing your diet is far more important than exercising for fat loss.

— Mike Matthews

Puts things in perspective! Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl  

Sleep, one of “the most powerful medications in the world for our brains”…

As a doctor who studies, treats, & experienced mental health issues - I’ve become absolutely convinced that one of the most powerful medications in the world for our brains is sleep. 

Consistent, quality sleep.  

Unmatched. 

— Jake Goodman, MD (Dr Jake uses his platform of 1.9 million social media followers to fight stigma and discrimination, and empower those experiencing mental health challenges to seek help). 

“To seek help.” I’m a believer. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl