Work stress…

What’s stressing us out at work?

Not enough time in the day to get everything done (35%)

Balancing work with family/personal needs (30%)

Not making enough money (29%)

Inability to stop working after hours (17%)

Challenges of working from home (12%)

… employees said they’ve been working more since the start of the pandemic. 

 — Riva Gold, Senior News Editor, LinkedIn

For me, it’s been a lack of quality time off. I’m a sun and sand girl, and not being able to go somewhere warm, swim in the ocean and be completely away from home has taken a hit to my ability to relax and find peace. There’s simply been too much time at home, with chores and my personal/work phone taunting me. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Learn to be brave and patient…

We could never learn to be brave and patient if there were only joy in the world.

— Helen Keller (American author, disability rights activist, political activist and lecturer. She lost her sight and hearing after a bout of illness at nineteen months old. She learned how to communicate using home signs and then the Tacoma method. She attended both specialist and mainstream schools, including Radcliffe College of Harvard University. Keller became the first deaf blind person to earn a Bachelor of Arts degree) 

Kind of puts things in perspective. I always come back to passion and motivation. What are we passionate enough about to overcome all odds? Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Not about you, but listening wins…

You can’t control how other people receive your energy. Anything you do or say gets filtered through the lens of whatever they are going through at that moment, which is not about you. Just keep doing your thing with as much integrity and love as possible.

— Nanea Hoffman 

One of the biggest paradigm shifts I’ve had is learning about “victim mentality.” A very savvy life coach taught me to look at everything in my life as being “my stuff” and my responsibility. She said that although we’ve all probably been victimized at one time or another, we are unfortunately left holding the bag. This means doing all we can to resolve old hurts/issues and perhaps improving on our empathy and communication skills, so that we can have good quality relationships. I also learned the valuable lesson of inviting someone to share their thoughts/feelings/needs, so that both people feel heard, understood and cared about. It works wonders. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO 

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

 

Diet and mental health…

Here we explore the link between food and mental health, and how the digestive process directly influences your mood.

The composition of our microbiome varies due to multiple factors, but one key determinant is diet. Probiotics function as the “food source” for beneficial bacteria, and promote microbial growth and activity, thereby supporting mental health. However the average North American diet is low in foods like vegetables, fruits, whole grains and fibre that support a healthy microbiome, and is typically high in refined sugar and highly processed foods. 

What to eat for better mental health. To boil it down, here are 6 key takeaways:

1. Fibre-rich plant-based foods including fruits, vegetables, legumes, whole grains and nuts.

2. Eat two servings of fatty fish per week, or consider taking an omega-3 supplement

3. Choose whole foods without added ingredients and processing (limit highly processed foods and drinks) 

4. Take Vitamin D3

5. Cut down on refined sugars/sweetened drinks, baked goods, desserts

6. Include probiotic foods (sauerkraut, pickles, yogurt, tempeh, kefir)

— Emily Kichler (Oct 2021, Canadian Living Magazine)  

When I was growing up, Mum would take us out to McDonalds for a treat, or we’d stop for chocolate bars. When Dad had us, he made us to go to the corner store and pick a piece of fruit. Dad also spent the summer tending to our vegetable garden, which took up our entire back yard (so Italian, Lol). Everyone around us spent the summer splashing around and laughing in their pools, while my brother, sister and I picked weeds and collected the day’s ripe vegetables and fruit. We didn’t appreciate the fresh salads and herbs back then, but we sure get it now. I still have a sweet tooth (thanks Mom! Ha ha), but fortunately the fresh fruit and vegetable habit stuck. I always notice the difference in my energy and mood when I eat Dad’s way. Dad was also the one taking us to the park to play soccer and tennis and fortunately fitness has stuck as well. Another mood booster. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Renewed gloom from Covid and adult tantrums…

If it seems like more people have a short fuse lately, you’re not wrong—at least, not according to the restaurant servers, airline workers and customer service trackers who say they have seen a wave of tantrums. At home, at work and out in public, many of us admit to blowups, which we soon regret.

The whipsaw of renewed gloom from the Covid-19 Delta variant following the burst of optimism from spring vaccinations makes the current pandemic phase more gruelling than past ones, psychologists say. It’s getting harder to muster empathy or regulate our knee-jerk reactions, they add. 

“When you anticipate something is going to be temporary, you’re able to absorb a higher level of stress,” says Pauline Wallin, a psychologist in Camp Hill, Pa. “When things don’t work out as expected it makes us more prone to be aggressive with ourselves and with one another,” she says.

 — Anne Marie Chaker, Wall Street Journal

My colleagues (and some clients too actually) and I were just talking about this. We had all been silently suffering with the almost creepy onslaught from customers. Feels good to know it’s a “thing” right now, and nothing to take personally. Fingers crossed that this dang virus can be brought under control sooner than later. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Great passion…

People with great passion can make the impossible happen.

— Unknown

I’m kind of addicted to inspirational stories. Actually, think I rely on them to maintain my sense of hope, positivity and belief. I figure, if they can do it, so can I. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Just talk about it…

Sometimes you just need to talk about something—not to get sympathy or help, but just to kill its power by allowing the truth of things to hit the air.

— Karen Salmansohn (Multi bestselling author and award winning designer who is passionate about empowering people to live their happiest, highest potential lives. She is known for creating a new breed of self help for people who would never be caught dead doing self help. She pulls this off by merging psychological research with humour, philosophy and stylish graphics) 

It’s taken me time to learn that what friends and loved ones need most is a sounding board. They just need someone to sit with them and have their back. Ultimately, people have to do what feels right for them anyway. I’ve learned how to make this request for myself and it makes the world of difference. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl   

  

Now is as good a time as any…

It’s a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you’re ready. I have this feeling now that actually no one is ever ready to do anything. There is almost no such thing as ready. There is only now. And you may as well do it now. Generally speaking, now is as good a time as any.

— Hugh Laurie

Personally, I’ve needed a bit of a nudge to jump off the proverbial cliff. Job loss led me to pursue an entrepreneurial avenue I had been hesitant about. And, well, embarrassingly, a shocking betrayal forced the break up I had been putting off for far too long. Hopefully I’ve evolved enough to act without needing unpleasant assistance, Lol. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl  

Create space…

Don’t lose yourself in the chaos. If life starts moving too fast, put up a fight. Fight back with your bare feet on the earth, fight back by looking up at the stars or watching a sunset…fight back by creating space to be still and breathe.

— Brooke Hampton

I felt a little bit more relaxed simply reading that. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Intelligence reimagined…

Intelligence is composed mostly of imagination, insight—things that have nothing to do with reason.

— Vivienne Westwood (University of Westminster graduate, fashion designer who is largely responsible for bringing modern punk and new wave fashions into the mainstream, businesswoman and social justice champion)

I don’t know about you, but I grew up thinking IQ was the only real measure of intelligence. My brother, sister and I were ranked on an ongoing basis. It wasn’t until much later that I realized there is EQ, or emotional intelligence (which is more my speed vs my brother’s photographic memory that I could never compete with), plus a potential of 8 (and maybe beyond) types of intelligence, according to a Harvard psychologist (spatial, bodily-kinaesthetic, musical, linguistic, logistical-mathematical, interpersonal, intrapersonal, naturalistic). I wish I’d known this a lot earlier, Lol ;) Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

 

Natural coping remedies…

I googled my symptoms. 

Turns out I just need chocolate, wild water, good sex, a strong dose of nature and some peace and quite. 

— Brooke Hampton (Author of Enchanted Cedar: The Journey Home and co-founder & owner of Enchanted Cedar, a local Chaya House and Bookstore) 

Personally, I’m struggling with the heavy emphasis on work since Covid began. I do find some simple things help; a solid night’s sleep, cutting down on sugar/booze (not easy to do, but I sure feel better when I pull it off), swimming outside in the sun, hanging/commiserating with good friends… and yet, work still seems to take up a bit too much mental/emotional space these days. So for that, I work with a life coach/energy work practitioner and she hugely helps with perspective, mindset, energy level. Fewf! Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

 

Open the door to solutions…

Explain your anger, don’t express it, & you will immediately open the door to solutions instead of arguments.

— Unknown

Hmmm. Let’s think about this. We can become angry and lash out, be passive-aggressive, throw up the cold shoulder… or explain how we’re feeling and why? My parents (bless them, as I’m sure they did the best they could) displayed the first three responses a LOT, Lol. As expected, unresolved issues persisted. On a happy note, I learned about what I did NOT want and happily choose the explaining option. When my boyfriend and I share our feelings/concerns/needs, we find our relationship grows and deepens. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Protecting your sense of wonder…

As we enter a transitional stage after a year of trauma and strain, more than ever we need ways to refresh our energies, calm our anxieties, and nurse our well-being. One potentially powerful intervention is rarely talked about in the workplace: The cultivation of experiences of awe. Like gratitude and curiosity, awe can leave us feeling inspired and energized. 

As a physician and a psychologist, we have facilitated hundreds of resilience and well-being workshops both before and during Covid for the military, physicians, educators, law enforcement, and in the business world. Helping participants to explore, experience, and recall moments of awe is one of the key scientifically supported strategies we engage in during our workshops and it’s been rewarding to see our participants benefit and bring what they’ve learned to their own organizations…

As you tap into something larger and your sense of self shrinks, so too do your mental chatter and your worries. At the same time, your desire to connect with and help others increases. People who experience awe also report higher levels of overall satisfaction and well-being.

— David P. Resell and Karen Reivich

It’s funny, I woke up thinking about travel today. I was thinking about new experiences, different food, other cultures... and then I happened on this notion of awe bringing inspiration, calm and renewed energy. That’s it — I’m going to book an adventure. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Living life in crescendo…

Stephen Covey, productivity and leadership expert, called this, living life in crescendo.

This is the idea that our highest contribution always lies ahead of us. That everything we have done previously has been in preparation for some greater success. 

I find this to be a deeply hopeful and inspiring perspective.  

— Greg McKeown (Public speaker, leadership and business strategist, and author of Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less, which discusses how to figure out what is essential, how to eliminate what is not and how to make it as effortless and possible to do what really matters)

I don’t know about you, but I find the idea of doing less very appealing right now. With Covid raging for the fourth time and some restrictions still in place, I’m missing many of my cherished happiness and mental wellness outlets. What has not eased is the demands in the work place. These seem to have escalated actually. No wonder I feel tired, Lol. So yes, I’m going to determine what is essential and make this more effortless. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

What can go right?…

Ask yourself , “what can go right?” Isn’t that a magical question? And it’s the one we rarely ask ourselves. Before setting out on their voyage, the Orton family planned for worst-case scenarios and for many things to go wrong (which they did throughout the trip). However, while they had prepared for the worst, there was also the wondrous surprise of things going beautifully right. When we begin something new, we spend a lot of time bracing ourselves for the hard stuff. It is important to remember to also lean into the good stuff.

— Whitney Johnson (CEO of WLJ Advisors, award winning author, world-class keynote speaker, frequent lecturer at Harvard Business School’s Corporate Learning and executive coach and advisor to CEO’s) 

I experienced a delightful turn of events myself recently. My boyfriend, his son and I wanted to staycation in our fine city for a night over the Labour Day weekend and struggled to find the right accommodations. Preferably, we wanted a hotel suite with two rooms and at least one bathroom. We managed to overpay for a less than ideal room with a pull out bed in the main room and bathroom inside the master bedroom, which would mean our teenager would have to enter our room to go to the bedroom. Yuck, but our options were limited, so we forged on. We checked in, went upstairs and entered our room only to find someone’s suitcase on the bed, coat hanging in the closet and the key folder sitting by the hotel room door. We stopped dead in our tracks and all agreed nothing like this had ever happened in our lives. We tried to call down to the front desk, but no one picked up, so we lugged all our crap downstairs again, where there was a HUGE check in line. Ugh. I decided to speak with the concierge and he was simply amazing. He was also astounded and apologetic. He asked for our forgiveness and our patience for a few more moments. He went away for a few minutes and came back with a beauty of a room for us. We ended up with a two bedroom, two bathroom (at opposite sides of the room, offering sweet privacy), a kitchen, living room and overall spaciousness. We were giddy. How’s that for an example of what can go right, Lol. Our room was worth at least double what we paid. Yay! Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Growth mindset…

Did you know that Darwin and Tolstoy were considered ordinary children? That Ben Hogan, one of the greatest golfers of all time, was completely uncoordinated and graceless as a child? That the photographer Cindy Sherman, who has been on virtually every list of the most important artists of the 20th century, failed her first photography course? That Geraldine Page, one of our greatest actresses, was advised to give up for a lack of talent?

You can see how the belief that cherished qualities can be developed creates a passion for learning. The passion for stretching yourself and sticking to it, even (or especially) when it’s not going well, is the hallmark of the growth mindset. This is the mindset that allows people to thrive during some of the most challenging times in their lives.

— Carol S. Dweck, PhD (American psychologist, Lewis and Virginia Eaton Professor of Psychology at Stanford University. Dweck has primary interests in motivation, personality and development. Her key contribution to social psychology relates to implicit theories of intelligence described in her 2006 book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. In a nutshell, she believes that we can stretch ourselves beyond any perceived, “fixed” innate intelligence level and get smarter if we work at it).  

My high school band class comes to mind. I remember someone new came into class and this person was not good at the drums. This person seemed to struggle and struggle. Our teacher, who loved music more than anything and believed everyone can learn to play an instrument, encouraged practice and perseverance. From that day forward, every time we walked by the practice room, the student was in there practicing the drums. That student practiced more than I’ve seen anyone practice and he got better. We were impressed. That same student is now a professional drummer in some of the most prestigious bands. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Growth is a process…

You do not just wake up and become the butterfly

Growth is a process

— Unknown 

What amazes me is how much I continue to learn… from colleagues, from friends, from my past mistakes. No matter how hold I get (and I’m heading toward retirement quicker than I’d like. Yikes), I seem to learn something on a regular bases. Just sayin’ ; ) Hugs. XO 

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Paradigm shift…

Mind set change: From - Why is this happening to me?

                                  To - What is this teaching me?

— Unknown 

I notice I’m much better at contemplating the learning after the fact… sometimes much after the fact, Lol. I’ll keep working on it though, particularly with events well outside of my control. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl