What we say “no” to (or choose not to do or stop doing) saves and creates space for even better things we say “yes” to (or choose to do). We all have finite resources. Being able to say no to others and ourselves is one of the most powerful muscles in building a strong business or career and happy life. Failing to say no, at the very least, can cause us to miss something bigger or greater. At worst and most commonly, not saying no when we can and should can lead to burnout, dilution of focus, high opportunity costs, stress, and more...
Cheat sheet:
Saying no comes in many forms. Whether it’s for work, help, volunteering, investment, donations, or time, here are some high-level phrases that can be adapted to your personality.
* No. As many others have said, “No.” is a complete sentence
* Not now
* I love this, but it’s not in line with my focus right now
* I cannot give this the time it deserves
* Not me, but I can connect you with someone who can (this is a way to say no to the ask, but saying yes to helping)
* I could do a piece of this but would need help/someone else to pick up the rest (another way to say no by saying yes to a part of it)
* Not a fit for me (and share reason if you desire)
* I’m putting my energy into a few other big things right now and need to focus on those primarily
- Kat Cole (COO and President at Focus Brands LLC)
My favourite therapist talks a lot about saying no/drawing boundaries, as an act of kindness and respect for ourselves and our most important relationships. He says we can opt to say yes, out of duty and obligation, if we have the energy and time and we really want to give in that moment and in that way. I have to say, managing the guilt has been a process for me. It does get easier though... and then it feels really honest, true and empowering. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
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