12 Laws of Karma…

The Great Law

Whatever we put into the Universe will come back to us

The Law of Creation

Life does not happen by itself. We need to make it happen

The Law of Humility

One must accept something in order to change it

The Law of Growth

When we change ourselves our lives change too

The Law of Responsibility

We must take responsibility for what is in our lives

The Law of Connection

The past, present and future are all connected

The Law of Focus

We cannot think of two different things at the same time

The Law of Giving and Hospitality

Our behaviour should match our thoughts and actions

The Law of Here and Now

We cannot be present if we are looking backward

The Law of Change

History repeats itself until we learn from it and change our path

The Law of Patience and Reward

The most valuable rewards require persistence

The Law of Significance and Inspiration

Rewards are a result of the energy and effort we put into it

— Unknown 

Two stand out for me: 1) history repeating itself until we learn from it and change our path (I kept choosing attentive, but in the end controlling, partners, similar to my father) 2) the most valuable rewards requiring persistence (I’ve been pursuing entrepreneurial endeavours for a really long time, and I’ll keep going!). Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Growth requires us to leave something behind…

A gentle reminder:

Growth requires us to leave something behind. It can be our habits, beliefs, careers, mindset and even people. And this is why making space for grief in the midst of growth is important. 

You will mourn your former life to make space for a newer you.

— Unknown 

This is comforting to read. I set out to improve my relationships and save my marriage. But I didn’t bank on losing/mourning some long standing friendships (and even family). The more “work” I’ve done, the less energy and bandwidth/nerves I’ve had for drama (passive-aggressiveness, negativity, complaining and blaming others). Instead, my focus is on relationships where both people are able to hear each other and be accountable for the state of the relationship. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

If today gets difficult…

Remember the smell of coffee, the way sunlight bounces off a window, the sound of your favourite person’s laugh, the feeling when a song you love comes on, the color of the sky at dusk, and that we are here to take care of each other. 

— Nanea Hoffman

Personally, it’s been a tough two years, following my mother’s passing. My father, shockingly, passed away at the young age of 59, so I find myself parent-less. Now, my upbringing was no picnic, so rather than straight up mourning, I’ve been going through “complicated grieving”, as my coach explains it. This is when you’re left to unpack any rejection, lack of approval and/or affection and appreciation one may have suffered. There’s also the common parental favouritism that comes into play. Sum it all up, and you’re left to process the sadness around what was and what never will be. I found the process to be largely subconscious/unconscious, but I certainly felt emotionally spent, with an overall lower energy/happiness level. Fortunately, I’ve been able to rely on key life lines; time spent with my favourite people, addictive shows that suck you right in, exercise (for me, swimming outside or sweating it out in the gym), staring into sunsets with my awesome ocean/mountain view, visiting with animals (I go to the kitty cat cafe because my job requires travel), following my favourite hockey team, being of value in my job and to my customers, writing over morning coffee etc. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Words matter…

My therapist taught me that…

That words matter. 

Instead of staying “I can’t” say “It’s not a priority for me right now.”

Replace “I’m jealous of them” with “I’m inspired by them.”

Replace “I have to do this” with “I get to do this”

Replace “I failed” with “This attempt didn’t work.”

Replace “Why is this happening to me?” With “What am I learning from this?”

Words matter, because even if you don’t fully mean them, your brain can’t tell the difference.

— @latenightepiphanies_

I’ve been experimenting with this myself lately. Instead of thinking or saying I’ve failed in my entrepreneurial endeavours, I’ve been saying, I haven’t been able to replace the earnings of my day job yet, but I’m excited to keep trying, because I really enjoy the process. And I really do enjoy the process. If my current project works out, it’ll be icing on the cake, with more vacation time and maybe a fancier home. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl  

Sometimes people just need an ear…

People don’t always need advice. Sometimes all they really need is a hand to hold, an ear to listen, and a heart to understand them. 

— Unknown 

Great reminder. I have a feeling I may jump to advice. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

PTSD like pop up ads for a horror movie…

Having PTSD is like having pop-up ads in your brain for a horror movie that’s based on a true story.

— Unknown 

Perhaps my key learning from therapy is how deeply we are affected by early childhood experiences and traumas. For example, my father was a very dictatorial parent, who was dismissive of my thoughts and feelings. In fact, his favourite saying was “You’re completely missing the point!” I felt disrespected, and my intelligence was repeatedly insulted. So, fast forward to relationships and career, and I had a hot button around being questioned or being told what to do. Fortunately I ended up on a healing path (to save my marriage), and managed to tackle this sometimes problematic trigger. I am now able to respond calmly, with curiosity and a desire to learn. Fewf. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Good and bad things happen…

Worrying is a waste of time. Good and bad things happen in life, you just have to keep living and not stress over what you can’t control.

— averts.com

Personally, I have found therapy and/or energy work super helpful. This form of self care seems offer the extra emotional band width to better deal with life’s inevitable challenges. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl