Accept life unconditionally…

I decided, very early on, just to accept life unconditionally; I never expected it to do anything special for me, yet I seemed to accomplish far more than I had ever hoped. Most of the time it just happened to me without me ever seeing it. 

— Audrey Hepburn (British actress and humanitarian. Hepburn was recognized as both a film icon and a fashion icon. The American Film Institute ranked her third among screen legends from the Classical Hollywood cinema and she was inducted into the International Best Dressed List Hall of Fame. Although Hepburn was born in Brussels to an aristocratic family, she faced traumatic life events at a very young age. Her father abandoned the family and then Germany invaded and occupied the Netherlands for five long years, deeply affecting her entire family. She witnessed trainloads of Jews being transported to the train station and she personally suffered malnutrition due to a lack of even the most basic foods, such as flour, which they had to learn to make out of tulip bulbs. Hepburn later became very involved with UNICEF, narrating two radio programs, re-telling children’s stories of war. She was eventually appointed Goodwill Ambassador and on her appointment she stated that she was grateful for receiving international aid after enduring the German occupation as a child and she wanted to show her gratitude to the organization). 

Wow. Watching Audrey Hepburn in movies and in her seemingly glamorous life, you’d never know the trauma and torment she endured in her early life. Perhaps this is where she cultivated the ability to persevere, and live with gratitude. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Gift of love…

We’ve got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can’t just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it’s going to get on by itself. You’ve got to really look after it and nurture it.

— John Lennon (Lennon’s songwriting partnership with Paul McCartney remains the most successful in history. Lennon, who is sometimes called “the smart Beatle,” wrote All You Need Is Love, plus others, which were adopted as anti-war movement anthems, and then into the larger counterculture. Rolling Stone named Lennon the fifth greatest singer and he was inducted to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame twice —as a Beatle and then as a solo artist). 

The love of my life (and perfectly matched partner) and my BFF come to mind. Acts of love are delightful, plentiful, mutual and effortless. In my earlier relationships, I can see where incompatibilities derailed any chance of lasting love. No one’s fault. We simply lacked common ground and needed to go our separate ways. Most importantly, these experiences helped to re-define myself and my ideal partner. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Best is still yet to come…

Don’t give up now, 

chances are 

your best kiss 

Your hardest laugh

and your greatest day

are still yet to come.

— atticus

I’ve been in the proverbial ditch in life, and this went on for years (post 2008 financial crisis, which became my financial crisis). Life was pretty much on hold. I had enough money for rent, food, car (because I’ve always had well paying jobs), and not much else. All I can say is, wow. Quite the character building time. I was able to enjoy a low cost morning coffee outing, which is fortunately one of my favourite things, while my friends shopped for brand name clothes, enjoyed live entertainment, went on fabulous trips and bought bigger homes (some of them multi-million). Yup, that was a soul searching, humbling experience. So, I was out of work and I was also single. Doubly whammy, but this left me much solitude to envision my ideal future, which is mostly about greater freedom of life choices and more time off for fun adventures. Although I had limited funds to play with, I had an abundance of time, and fortunately I spent it wisely. I followed the advice of a fantastic life coach who said, girl, you need to sit down and write your lists. For career, what sort of manager do you want to work with, what sort of corporate culture do you want, what do you want your work days to look like, what sort of compensation do you want/need? For a life partner; what you do want your days to look like, how do you want to be treated, etc. I spent a good year on this exercise, meanwhile I also learned how to not spend money. It took a couple more years of searching, but I ended up with my dream job, the love of my life/best, easiest partner ever, and a LOT of savings and investments. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Being yourself…

To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.

— Thich Nhat Hanh

For me, it’s been about quieting that “internal parent.” Instead of allowing my mind to critique and judge, I try to say kind and supportive things to myself . Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

“The Not To Do List”…

Here are 9 habits that most people do that add stress and distraction to your day that you should eliminate. Like your to-do list, identify the top 3 stressors that you personally encounter, and make a plan to stop doing them:

1. Do not agree to meetings without a clear agenda or end time.

2. Do not drink coffee all day.

3. Do not answer unplanned calls except for family.

4. Do not e-mail when you wake up or right before going to sleep.

5. Do not waste time on low-benefit, high-cost endeavours.

6. Do not let people talk about nothing.

7. Do not constantly check your e-mail.

8. Do not work more just because you’re stressed.

9. Do not let work consume your life. 

What are your top 3?

— Jordan Buckner, Forbes 30 Under 30, Foodbevy Founder

My top three are: tend to check email a lot, check email when I wake up, overthink work. Thing is, I believe these habits have contributed to my success, over-achievement and higher earnings. I’ll have to manage a “fix” that doesn’t compromise my results. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

“Do you need better boundaries?”…

Setting better boundaries in your personal and working relationships can improve your mental health, writes best-selling author and boundaries expert Nedra Glover Tawwab. Yet many people struggle to do so when they’re most needed. 

Boundary setting advice:

* Try a week of telling colleagues you’ll only respond after hours if it’s urgent.

* The next time you have the choice between people-pleasing and truth-telling, choose the truth.

* Remove temptation by deleting work apps on weekends.

— Leah Smart (Excerpt from LinkedIn News)

I’m a pretty touchy-feely girl and looking back, I can see that I grew up trying to calm the waters and make everyone feel better. I just wanted everyone to get along and be happy. Not much has changed, Lol. Well, actually a lot has changed. I still want peace and calm in my life and I want those around me to be happy, but I take care of my own well being first and avoid taking on the emotional world of others. I seem to have less and less energy for drama. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Overcoming thoughts…

I am becoming more positive and overcoming thoughts that try to hold me back.

— www.self pause.com

In keeping with my last post on mind management… I’m amazed at some of the crap my mind comes up with. Luckily, I can usually stop and say “Whaaaaa???? Awe, no! That’s ridiculous, or silly or fear-based.” Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl