More effective than motivation…

Habit and routine are more effective than motivation.

Develop the skill of doing what you don’t feel motivated to do.

— Unknown

One of my trusted coaches taught me about “intentions,” which can seriously propel a person to action. I have found this to be a true secret weapon. It goes something like this; identify a strong desire (goal), envision a fantastic outcome, watch your psyche come up with cool, brilliant ideas, then feel the surge of motivation needed to execute on those ideas, and finally, revel in the fruits of your labour. (For me, I decided to work just a little bit harder each day, so that I could make more bonus and therefore more warm vacations, because I live in a rainy climate which gets me down every Nov - March). Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl  

The fight or flight response…

How do I teach my body that my fight or flight response is supposed to be for life or death situations, 

not answering an email.

— @_chismosa_

Lol. I’m working on this myself actually. My most successful strategy so far has been Craniosacral Therapy (energy work), which helps calm the nervous system. It’s been pretty miraculous actually, and a bit of an exorcism frankly. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Don’t lose hope…

Whatever you do, 

don’t lose hope.

— Unknown

I’ve always had a curiosity about human nature and relationship dynamics. I also enjoy researching ideas (forever the psychology geek) and learning from others’ experiences. (Not so much when I was younger, and my Dad went on about learning from history and the mistakes of others, Lol). Above all, I seek hope, motivation and inspiration as life lines in a sometimes scary world. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Necessary goodbyes?…

Some goodbyes set you free.

— Unknown 

I can relate. I had been holding onto a couple of relationships, based on long history and some cherished times. But, in truth, some of these connections were no longer congruent for me, and probably for the other person as well. (Some of them family, which is particularly disheartening). I feel I’ve restored some much needed energy, not having to jam the proverbial square peg into the round hole. I think the pandemic (and my mother’s passing) brought an end to these challenging dynamics, and not seeing eye to eye. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

The comparison trap…

Comparison is the thief of joy.

— Theodore Roosevelt 

The process of constantly evaluating our own behaviour, thoughts, emotions, relationships, jobs, houses, clothes, looks, lives to each other is one of the most damaging internal narratives we can have.

— Dr Amy Silver

I don’t care who is doing better than me. 

I am dong better than I was last year.

It’s me vs me.

— Unknown

I like the idea of me vs me, and I’ll definitely try to remember the cost of comparison… having said that, I’m in business development and sales people are most definitely ranked, based on performance, on an ongoing basis. My sister and I have also been compared, based on looks, throughout our lives. (And my poor brother compared, or rather criticized, based on looks as well. So mean). Clearly society tends to rank and judge us. I guess it’s up to us as individuals to maintain perspective and not allow ourselves to  be defined by how we look or what we own. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

 

Learning how to deal with being disappointed or angry…

Learning how to deal with being disappointed or angry is part of growing up, and learning how to express these feelings to the people we care about without feeling worse afterwards—and without leaving them feeing bad too—takes time, and practice.

— Michele Herman, A Girl’s Guide To Life

This has been THE most important lesson of my life. Expressing feelings in a tense moment isn’t easy, and has taken a ton of practice, but the resulting level of mutual respect, understanding and empathy has been quite miraculous… for the most part. (Full disclaimer: some relationships have not survived, despite better communication skills. Perhaps some relationships are just not compatible enough). Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO 

Blessings,

Chatgirl  

Embracing the un-comfort zone…

Great things never came from comfort zones.

— Unknown

I need to embrace this notion, because I continue to struggle with change and/or friction (I don’t even want to upgrade my laptop right now because I don’t feel like dealing with the re-set up phase, Lol). As my favourite therapist tells me “You want everything to be sunny and sunnier, which poses a bit of a problem, right?” I know, I know, I admitted. I’m gonna try collaborating, and problem solving, the tougher moments to manifest the best outcome possible. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl