Forgiving is not for others...

Forgive anyone who has caused you pain or harm.
Keep in mind that forgiving is not for others. It is for you. Forgiving is not forgetting. It is remembering without anger. It frees up your power, heals your body, mind, and spirit. Forgiveness opens up a pathway to a new place of peace where you can persist despite what has happened to you.

— Les Brown (American Author, motivational speaker, radio DJ, former TV host and former politician who uses the catch phrase “It’s possible!” and teaches people to follow their dreams as he learned to do. Brown was born in an abandoned building in a low-income section of Florida. He was adopted by a 38 year old single woman who worked as a cafeteria attendant and was declared “educable mentally retarded” while in grade school. He went on to win countless awards, including one of America’s top five speakers by Toastmasters International in 1992).

Whatever our beginnings, one thing is clear. We probably have more capacity and capability than we know and odds are we have some emotional reckoning to contend with. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Life becomes easier...

Life becomes easier when you learn to accept the apology you never got.

— R. Brault

My favourite therapist says we have to pick up where our parents left off. One of the exercises he had me do was write a letter from my father to me, saying everything I ever wanted and needed to hear from him (he’s passed way now). I was dumb founded at how wonderful it was to read those words (as though they were really from him). Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Giving love away...

When we let someone be who they are without trying to change them, that is giving away love.

— Susan Jeffers (Author of Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway)

What happens when we accept ourselves in this way? Allowing myself to be who I am (whatever my limitations and quirks; perhaps clinically/OCD/neat/fussy, addicted to movies, not outdoorsy, not hugely cultured, perhaps under-informed of current events, less than stellar memory for names and most things except for movie related trivia, Lol etc.) is hands down the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Being clear on who I am and what I like/don’t like allowed me to find my perfect match. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Best day of your life...

The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies, or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours - it is an amazing journey - and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.

— Bob Moawad (Athlete, coach, motivational speaker and one of the original authors of the best- selling book Chicken Soup For The Soul. Moawad developed the Edge Learning Institute, which was used by many of the nation’s most prestigious Fortune 500 companies).

I was lucky enough to be “schooled” on the power of “owning my own life and having my own back, all the way.” I had to move on from the limitations of my upbringing and choose to learn more effective relationship skills. After all, we don’t necessarily learn healthy interpersonal skills at home and they don’t teach this stuff at elementary school or high school. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Healthy detachment...

Detachment doesn’t mean not caring. It’s taking care of yourself first and letting others take responsibility for their actions without trying to save or punish them.

— Unkown

I’m thinking a healthy detachment (even for a few precious moments) from our worries and stresses would be helpful. I guess that’s what yoga, deep breathing, meditation, are all about. These coping strategies seem to take some commitment and focus, in my experience. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

De-cluttering our lives...

Clutter, it’s not just the stuff on the floor. It’s anything that gets between you and the life you want to be living.

— Peter Walsh (Australian-American professional organizer, writer and media personality, appearing on Clean Sweep for more than 120 episodes and regular guest on The Oprah Winfrey show in the late 2000’s. In 2011 Walsh premiered his own show, Enough Already!, helping people de-clutter and organize their homes and lives).

I’m curious to hear more. Stay tuned... In my experience, removing emotional clutter is not quick, easy or painless.  Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

The power of intention...

Live less out of habit and more out of intent.

— Unknown

A trusted life coach blessed my life with the power of intention. At the time, I was looking for a new job (the current one was strangling me on every level) and I was determined to NEVER go through another break up (the last one left me humiliated, particularly since, in truth, I had been done for about a year and was dragging my heals for a number understandable, but fearful and misguided reasons). My coach told me to write down what I wanted very clearly. Not a list, per se, she said, but write out how you want to feel each day and how you envision life with that perfect partner, or perfect job. Write out the kind of manager, how much you want to earn, desired daily activities etc.. I wanted; autonomy, the ability to be entrepreneurial and creative, flexibility and a boss that would empower me, rather than micro-manage my daily activities. In love, I wanted; to do the things I love doing, to NOT do things I dislike, to enjoy the same activies, someone as affectionate as I am, someone chill (I had previously ended up with kinda controlling/intense guys, like my father). So, how did things turn out? Slam dunk on both counts. Amazing! Setting very clear and detailed intentions worked for me. It took about a year of focus to land the perfect job and the perfect life partner (and romantic, fun, meaningful love of my life). Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl