Missing something...

I think it’s important to realize you can miss something, but not want it back.

— Paulo Coelho (Brazilian lyricist and novelist. He is best known for his international bestselling novel The Alchemist and was listed at number 2 in the list of 200 most influential contemporary authors by UK-based Richtopia in 2016).

My favourite therapist says that our goodbye’s determine our hello’s. In other words, we need to put a proper ending to our relationships and mourn them in order to move forward in a healthy way. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

History that’s holding you back...

Step out of the history that is holding you back. Step into the new story you are willing to create.

— Oprah Winfrey

Not necessarily quick or easy to achieve, I’ve learned. Genetics and some of the conditioning from our upbringing can trip us up, even after much therapy. Christmas visiting provides the ultimate test! Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Ego or soul?...

The ego wants quantity, but the soul wants quality.

— Unknown

My favourite therapist taught me about the ego and how it wants, wants and wants. He says we have to get in touch with our “Inner Child” where the heart lives to find real fulfillment and lasting happiness. It worked for me, hands down. (If you’re curious, check out Joel Brass’ workshops and newsletters on Joelbrass.com). Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Stroke of luck...

Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

— Dalai Lama

They say we should define our hopes and dreams and then surrender to what comes. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Passing through...

Not everyone is meant to be in your future. Some people are just passing through to teach you lessons in life.

— Unknown

I’ve run into a couple of ex’s lately (one I stopped and talked to, the other I avoided and the most recent and raw one I’m relieved to have not run into). It’s hard not to look back and wonder what in the heck I was thinking? They say hindsight is 20-20 and we should not judge ourselves for our past choices. Supposedly, it’s all a part of our journey and the learnings guide us somewhere better. Actually, this has absolutely been the case for me... but I’m still working on gratitude for my past, forgiveness for my past mistakes and letting go of the hurt and humiliation from my biggest errors in judgement. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Showing grace...

There is nothing more classy or powerful than showing forgiveness and grace to someone who does not deserve it.

— Unknown

I pride myself on being a kind, compassionate and empathetic person. I’m certainly not perfect however, and I’m not immune from judgment. I’ve observed some of my petty thoughts and I don’t like how it feels. I’m challenging myself to be more loving and kind. So far so good and it makes me feel way better to make allowances for others’ limitations (as well as my own). Just sayin’ :) Hugs. Xo

Work with it...

Accept - then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it... This will miraculously transform your whole life.

— Eckhart Tolle

I read The Power of Now and A New Earth quite a while ago now, and Tolle’s three words “do not resist” come to mind often. I’m still working on it though. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Be done...

Sometimes you just have to be done, not mad, not upset.
Just done.

— Unknown

I wish I could tell my younger self this sound advice. I couldn’t seem to grasp the “square peg and round hole” barrier, which led to challenging and painful relationships that went on for far too long. On a good note, it’s never too late. Once I figured out, with great clarity, who I am and what I want and need in my life, it was easier to manifest the perfect partner. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Everything is energy...

Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics!

— Albert Einstein

I’m used to hearing such thoughts from the spiritual community, but I didn’t realize this was an Einstein quote. Pretty cool. The whole visualize and see your dreams materialize idea. It’s worked for me, that’s for sure. Not usually in the time frame I’m thinking of, but I know we’re supposed to surrender to what comes. I’m still working on that, ha ha. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Throwing out the trash...

Throw out your trash before 2019!!!

Fake friend
Fake family
Exes
Grudges
Bad habits
Anything toxic
Doubts

— Unknown

I don’t tend to make New Year’s resolutions because I try to work on this stuff as I go, but this year I have one. I went through a phase of being more “honest” and “authentic” and felt good about it because I previously people-pleased my way through life as conflict avoidance. I’m happy to say, I’ve come full circle and I’ve chosen to revert back to my peace-keeping self. I realize I just want people to be happy and to feel good, so I’d rather keep certain thoughts to myself and accept us all for who we are and for the best we’re able to do. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Not about perfect...

It’s not about perfect. It’s about effort. And when you bring that effort every single day, that’s where transformation happens. That’s how change occurs.

— Jillian Michaels (American personal trainer, businesswoman, author and television personality from Los Angeles, California. Michaels is best known for her appearances on NBC, particularly The Biggest Loser. She has made an appearance on the talk show The Doctors and in January 2016 her reality TV series Just Jillian premiered on E! Michaels is also involved in a number of charities, including the NFL’s Play 60, the Clinton Foundations’s Alliance, Stand Up to Cancer, Sow a Seed and Dresss for Success, PETA, National Day of Dance for Heart Health and more).

I have to admit, my father expected all the effort and perfection. Well, maybe that was my teen age perception. He probably wanted to steer me away from a “half-assed” effort as he used to say. It’s interesting as I look back (sadly, my father unexpectedly passed away in 1998, at 59. I really didn’t consider this possibility. I thought we’d have many years to debate, as he so loved to do ;)). I am surprised at how often I think of all that my Dad taught me. He was a hard ass, to be sure, but so much of what I learned from him has been profoundly important, relevant and meaningful in my life. Thank you Dad. I wish I could tell you that and hope you hear me up there. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Be patient...

Things take time.

So just be patient.

— Unknown

Patience has never been my strong suit. The joke is on me for sure though ;) because things have most certainly taken time. Interestingly, things have often come my way when I’m kind of over it. Even allowing things to take time has taken time, Lol. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

It’s all about mindset...

Mindset.
It’s all about mindset.
From the moment you wake up,
to the moment you rest your head at night.
Everything is up to you.
Your emotions, your thoughts, your perceptions,
your reactions.
Every moment.

— Unknown

Thing is, it may be more complicated that that. My favourite therapist says our conditioning and experiences, left unattended and unchallenged, set us up for certain triggers and reactions. We would need to go back to the drawing board and affect some of the problematic “grooves in the record”. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

About Christmas...

I don’t think Christmas is necessarily about things. It’s about being good to one another.

— Carrie Fisher

I concur. The older I get, the more I realize I don’t necessarily need more “stuff” (especially some of those misfire Xmas gifts we seem to get each year). I love spending time with my favourite people, I love Xmas’ing up the home and I enjoy a few days off from the daily shuffle of work. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Uniquely yours...

Absorb what is useful
Discard what is not
Add what is uniquely your own.

— Bruce Lee

When I was younger, I struggled with gut instinct. I wasn’t sure if it was fear (ego/brain) or gut talking. With some coaching, I learned to trust myself, identify my “truth” and quiet the mind. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Something to aim at...

A goal is not always meant to be reached. It often serves simply as something to aim at.

— Bruce Lee

I’ve always wondered why the multinational corporations I’ve worked for are dead set on sales targets (even with product launches, when they have no idea of the market potential). Apparently, when we have targets to shoot for, we tend to accomplish more than we would otherwise have. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Makes you human...

You don’t have to be positive all the time. It’s perfectly okay to feel sad, angry, annoyed, frustrated, scared, or anxious. Having feelings doesn’t make you a ‘negative person’. It makes you human.

— Lori Deschene (Author and Founder of Tiny Buddha, a leading website and resource for peace and happiness, with close to three million monthly readers).

My favourite therapist profoundly observed (many moons ago) that I wanted everything to be sunny and sunnier. He also said that I needed to acknowledge all of my emotions, especially the darker ones, because they provide wonderful and critical information about how we’re doing and what decisions or changes we may need to make. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Calmness is mastery...

Self-control is strength. Calmness is mastery. You have to get to a point where your mood doesn’t shift based on the insignificant actions of someone else. Don’t allow others to control the direction of your life. Don’t allow your emotions to overpower your intelligence.

— Unknown

This is still a work in progress for me. In truth, I know I have not succeeded in forgiving a few people for their transgressions and betrayals. Logically, I understand we have to set ourselves free and move on. What other people do is on them and we need to leave them holding the bag. Emotionally, it’s another story because hurt feelings can run deep and trigger old wounds. I’ve made a lot more progress working with professionals and will continue to do so because I don’t like how reactionary responses work and feel. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl