Post mortem...

This whole blog thing happened out of a bad break up. Happily, the worst of "it" is in the rear view mirror, almost 18 months later. Fewf! Given my own post mortem, I do not envy anyone who is either in one or heading toward a break up right now. It just plain sucks. Even when things end amicably, the entire thing is a process, and usually a lengthy one at that. If you're lucky enough to have simple finances and minimal negotiating (around kids, property etc.), you're still faced with starting over in so many ways. Even if you're someone who's found new love quickly (or before?), there's usually no short cut in dispensing with a past relationship. On a positive note, sitting in the void, post break, up can be very illuminating. Serious, life altering wisdom and boundaries can come out of the worst relationships. Where we were let down, we can realize our deepest needs and wants (zero tolerance moving forward?). Where we were willing to partake in things that were not (in truth) our cup of tea, we can understand who we are and what we like doing (zero tolerance moving forward?). Where we were perhaps lukewarm on the romance, we can make a new list and decide to go for more of the things we find attractive (zero tolerance moving forward?). Where we were "going through the motions" to maybe save face or avoid disrupting/hurting others, we can now be true to ourselves and go for more spice in our lives? I mean, why not?! Why should we accept numbness or a sleepwalking stupor in our love relationships? Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love the idea of marriage and commitment. I really do. I am a die hard romantic. However! I do not think we should necessarily martyr ourselves for a lifetime either. If we change significantly, or if our partner becomes someone else, I think we deserve a realistic review of the situation and if things are untenable, we should be able to make a change for our health and well being. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl