Who's making the decisions in our lives? Head, heart or past land mines?

Conflict is inevitable and in all likelihood a frequent occurrence in our lives. Whether this conflict is productive, constructive and relatively civil is up for grabs... or is it? When we "react" in any number of ways, without the benefit of counting to ten, or thinking things through, the outcome is usually less than desirable. Relationships, in particular, provide a fertile ground for shake ups and frankly this isn't so fun. When we love and value important friendships/family members/love interests and we truly want to get along, it's just so upsetting when we find ourselves in a state of disrepair, or constant upheaval. There may be a new and different way to go.

There are many, many avenues in addressing conflict/anger/friction in our lives; therapy/life coaching, books, spiritual practices. How do we know which way to go? What is truly at the core of our differences with one another? Which avenue is the best use of our time and money? These are not easy questions to answer. The good news is, any form of "inner" work may enlighten us to the veritable field of land mines that we offer those around us. Odds are, we're stuck in our heads most of the time and this doesn't feel very warm and fuzzy to our loved ones. Another name for our "head" may aptly be called our "Ego", according to therapeutic and self-help communities. If we're living from this place, it can get pretty dark and unfriendly. With the help of some deeper exploration, there's some hope of factoring in our hearts a little more often and finding our way toward people, rather than away from them. But if we're in the dark about why we say the things we say and do what we do in the heated moment, we're really at a disadvantage - and so are the people who are trying to care about us. It probably doesn't sound like much fun to focus inward in this way, but with some courage and the desire for something better, there is the possibility and great hope for improvement in our relationships and in life overall (for how to's check out Joel Brass workshops or book Healing Your Relationship with Yourself).

Blessings,

Chatgirl