Live for the little things?…

Someone once told me to always live for the little things in life. Live for 5 am sunrises and 5 pm sunsets where you’ll see colours in the sky that are stunning. Live for road trips and bike rides with music in your ears and the wind in your hair. Live for days when you’re surrounded by your favourite people who make you realize that the world is not a cold, harsh place. Live for the little things because they will make you realize that this is what life is all about, this is what it means to be alive. 

— Unknown 

Thank God for the simple things during the pandemic. Some of my favourite moments were picnics and cocktails at the beach or the park, deep conversations with my best friends and saving money! Sure, I missed the warm vacations, live entertainment and restaurants, but I’m not necessarily enjoying the warp speed pace of post-pandemic life. So, I’m going to spend more time on the simple things. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

 

Refuge from the miseries of life…

There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats.

— Dr Albert Schweitzer 

Those are two of mine as well. I would add trusted friends, exercise, writing, and sunny vacations. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Happiness depends on your inner self…

10 Signs of Maturity 

• Small talk no longer excites you
• Sleep is better than a Friday night out
• You forgive more often
• You become more open-minded
• You respect differences
• You don’t force love
• You accept heartaches
• You don’t judge easily
• You prefer to be silent over engaging in a nonsense fight
• Your happiness doesn’t depend on people but on your inner self 

— Unknown

Understanding the “inner self” has been a journey for me. I people-pleased my way through childhood and much of my adult life. Being a glass 3/4 full, Lol, I always just wanted people to get along. But after years of intensive therapy, divorce, friendship breakdown, family breakdown, near bankruptcy post-2008 financial crisis, I learned to go inward for strength and endurance. I still sulk. I still get impatient. I still get frustrated. I’m still disappointed when I don’t see a return on my efforts, or when I feel unfairly treated. But ultimately, I know who I am. I know my value and I will always find a way to keep going. I will keep striving for my dream life. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck to you. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

You’re not grown up until you stop blaming others…

You’re not grown up until you know how to communicate, apologize, be truthful and accept accountability without blaming someone else. 

— Unknown 

I feel fortunate to have learned this lesson. My spiritual guru was the first person to demand 100% accountability from me. She explained that although I had clearly been victimized as a child, that, as an adult, my issues are mine to deal with, and no one else’s. It was a tough lesson at the time because I guess I felt my upbringing (and ongoing family drama) was unfair, and I still needed to whine and complain, Lol. She went on to explain that when we take full responsibility for our baggage, we empower ourselves to heal, and then change our lives for the better. She was 200% right. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

The trap of repressed emotions…

Feelings have never killed anybody. Repressing them have caused many to lose their lives.

— Unknown 

I have learned that repressed feelings lie in wait, and wreak havoc on our most important relationships. Now, I will say that excavating old traumas demands an enormous amount of courage and bravery because you have to re-live some very scary experiences. The “work” will take you back to a time of helplessness and vulnerability. In truth, I only embarked on intensive therapy to save my (second!) marriage. My husband plainly stated that he was not going to take on my family baggage and ongoing drama. Thank God he did. There’s no way I would have sorted out my past, solidified my emotional world and found the love of my life without therapy. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO 

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

12 truths from therapy that may just change your life…

• Thoughts are not facts
• Your past does not define your future
• Perfectionism is a myth
• Change begins with self-acceptance
• There is power in your vulnerability
• You can’t change others, just yourself
• Forgiveness is for you not the other person
• You can change
• Your inner critic is not your friend
• Your body keeps score
• You are not responsible for other people’s happiness
• It’s OK to walk away from toxic relationships

— @h.e.l.e.n.m.a.r.i.e 

Wow, I can relate to so many of these. And I know there’s absolutely NO WAY I would be where I am in life, love and career without therapy, life coaching and energy work (Osteopathy, Craniosacral therapy). My top stand out is “your body keeps score” because I always end up with digestive issues when I’m hugely stressed out, and the energy work gets me level again. My second top stand out is “forgivenesses is for you not the other person” because, in truth, I’m still struggling to forgive my ex. He had an affair with someone from our inner circle, and it was all very humiliating. I actually think the person I’m struggling to forgive is myself because I was a big part of the problem. I energetically left the relationship and while I was dragging my heels on a break up, he fell in love with someone else. In defence of us both, my therapist said “break ups are messy and no one wants to be the bad guy, so these things tend to drag on, and end badly”. My third stand out is “change begins with self-acceptance” because it wasn’t until I made the decision to respect and prioritize my own wants and needs that I was able to find the perfect partner. We both had lists for our ideal partner and they were basically identical. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Feeling down is a good sign…

Feeling “down” is an indication that something within you is seeking to be released. Any negative emotion that is in your awareness is only ever there because it’s seeking to be freed, it’s not there to be pushed down, fought against or ignored. Instead of fighting that feeling, seek to understand why it’s there. Negative emotion is often an indication that you believe something that either isn’t true or isn’t in your highest good, about yourself, others or what you desire. Take some time to meditate, view everything through the lens of love, allow it, be patient, the false belief will reveal itself and let itself out in time. 

— Unknown 

I don’t know about you, but I find this perspective very calming. I’ve been low level down since my mother died over two years ago, which has felt unsettling. In the background, I know I’ve been reliving and processing my childhood and beyond, particularly the more upsetting moments. My mother leaving the bulk of the family estate to my brother, and giving very little to my sister and I didn’t help matters. My favourite life coach says what I’m going through is “complicated grieving” because the mourning goes  beyond losing and missing the person. In this scenario there’s abandonment, and rejection. Coaching has helped a lot, and I’m embarking on another 1 year, in depth healing workshop (6 weekends throughout the calendar year, with weekly support groups and a buddy), conducted by my favourite therapist. I look forward to a better resolution that I’ve been able to accomplish on my own. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Feelings are messengers…

• Your anger? It’s telling you where you feel powerless.
• Your anxiety? It’s telling you that something in your life is off balance.
• Your fear? It’s telling you what you care about.
• Your apathy? It’s telling you where you’re overextended and burnt out.

Your feelings aren’t random, they are messengers. And if you want to get anywhere, you need to be able to let them speak to you, and tell you what you really need.

— Brianna Weist (Author with an Honorary Doctorate in Literature from Elizabeth College. After working as a journalist, writing for publications such as Forbes and Teen Vogue, Weist began sharing her personal reflections, gained from years of self-inquiry and meditation)

My favourite therapist diagnosed me with a “broken compass” because I didn’t like/was afraid of the “negative” emotions, particularly anger. He observed that in wanting everything to be “sunny and sunnier”, I was missing information that was critical in making sound and healthy decisions. We had to go back to my family of origin, and my terrifying, and somethings violent father, to reclaim and stabilize my emotional world. I then had to learn how to properly identify and communicate about my feelings. My perfect relationship was on the other side of this education and healing. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

 

Waiting is never a waste of time…

The longer you have to wait for something, the more you will appreciate it when it finally arrives. The harder you have to fight for something, the more priceless it will become once you achieve it. And the more pain you have to endure on your journey, the sweeter the arrival at your destination. All good things are worth waiting for and worth the effort. 

— Unknown 

I’m not very good at waiting, Lol, but I realize it’s been a constant. I’m still learning how to detach and surrender to the process, and timing of things. Just sayin’ ; ) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Did you know (health tip)?…

Health tip!

When you drink water at the correct time..

• 2 glasses after waking up helps activate internal organs
• 1 glass 30 minutes before a meal helps digestion
• 1 glass before taking a shower helps lower blood pressure
• 1 glass before going to bed avoids stroke or heart attach

Cool info. I knew that drinking water before eating can make you feel full and lower caloric intake, but bonus that it helps with digestion as well. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Fall in love with your life…

Fall in love with your life. 

Wake up early, buy your favourite coffee, go for walks, eat good food, wear what makes you feel confident, and listen to your favourite music. 

Purposefully create these small moments that make you fall in love with your life. 

— Unknown 

Small moments got me through the worst of times; divorce, job loss, having to move. While unemployed (due to the 2008 financial crisis) I was still able to get out of bed and enjoy going for coffee, which made life feel somewhat normal. And in better times, my morning coffee has led to a new best friend, additional new friends and acquaintances, and a beautiful sense of community. This helps makes up for the lack of family connectivity, following my mother’s passing. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Difficulty being present in the moment?…

We are very good at preparing to live, but not very good at living. We know how to sacrifice ten years for a diploma, and we are willing to work very hard to get a job, a car, a house, and so on. But we have difficulty remembering that we are alive in the present moment, the only moment there is for us to be alive. 

— Thich Nhat Hanh

My favourite therapist diagnosed me with a few things; 1) father issues, which means relationship issues 2) a broken compass because I wasn’t in touch with my feelings and needs 3) love ability issue due to neglect and a lack of positive conditioning. Above all, he told me that I wanted life to be “sunny and sunnier”. Many years of therapy, relationship courses, and self directed study later, I’ve come a long way. But I think I still want life to be sunny and sunnier, Lol ;) I’ll continue to work on accepting life as it comes. On this first day of January 2025 I’m thinking I need to focus more on love and the amazing people in my life. Ambition is great and all, but connections are better for the heart and soul. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl