This is the big, scary truth about trauma: there is no such thing as “getting over it.” The five stages of grief model marks universal stages in learning to accept loss, but the reality is in fact much bigger: a major life disruption leaves a new normal in its wake. There is no “back to the old me.” You are different now, full stop.
This is not a wholly negative thing. Healing from trauma can also mean finding new strength and joy. The goal of healing is not a papering-over of changes in an effort to preserve or present things as normal. It is to acknowledge and wear your new life — warts, wisdom, and all — with courage.
— Catherine Woodiwiss
I concur. I ended up in intensive therapy to save my marriage, and although the marriage ultimately failed, I got an emotional make over. I attended numerous weekend relationship workshops (conducted by my favourite therapist), which showed me where I was part of the problem, and taught me new, healthy skills. I highly recommend proactively addressing trauma. Life on the other side is divine. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
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