Patience is key…

Trust the process.

Keep investing your energy into desires. 

Patience is key.

The day you plant the seed is not the same day you reap the harvest.

— Jenna Zwagil (Successful business owner and mentor. Having bounced from one meaningless job to another and then investing three roller coaster years in a start up, Zwagil landed in a $100 million business. She had always envisioned herself as a retired business owner). 

I too have envisioned myself as a retired (or semi-retired) business owner. So, focus on desires, keep the faith and have patience. Got it! Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Stuffing it all down…

It’s not wrong to be upset.

It’s not wrong to cry. It’s not wrong to want attention.

It’s not even wrong to scream and throw a fit. 

What is wrong is to keep it all inside. 

What is wrong is to blame and punish yourself for simply being human.

What is wrong is to never be heard and to be alone in your pain.

Share it.

Let it out.

— Unknown

My favourite therapist would agree. What I’ve learned from him is that there are some things that we cannot simply mind over matter. When it comes to old hurts and injustices, particularly from our childhood (like being victimized, before we had any ability to comprehend or process events), the troubled feelings persist, however we may stuff them down. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

 

What I wish my parents had taught me…

* Our parents and society fail to educate us on emotions and how to maintain emotional health. 

* We are not weak for having emotions, they give us vitality.

* Buried emotions can lead to anxiety and depression.

Now I know that emotions are a part of everyone’s daily experience and that they are biological communications that need attention. I wish my parents had received emotional education so that they could have taught me important things to know about emotions when I was a teenager. It would have helped me navigate some of my suffering and insecurity.

— Excerpt from “5 Things About Emotions I Wish My Parents Had Taught Me”, Psychology Today posted Feb 3 2023, by Hilary Jacobs Hendel

Amen. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

The trap of overthinking…

Psychology says, overthinking is one of the biggest causes of unhappiness.

— Psychology Facts @PsychologyF_

My favourite therapist has shown me that addressing deeper issues and feelings can go a long way to healthy detachment. Personally, I’m all for lightening the load. The old “stuff” gets real heavy to keep carrying around. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Access to dormant potential…

Director Francis Ford Coppola was asked to name the year’s worst movie. The question didn’t interest him, he said. He listed his favourite films, then declared, “Movies are hard to make, so I’ll say, all other ones were fine!” Coppola’s comments remind me of author Dave Eggers’: “Do not dismiss a book until you have written one, and do not dismiss a movie until you have made one, and do not dismiss a person until you have met them.” … Refrain from judging efforts about which you have no personal knowledge. Doing so will give you fuller access to half-dormant aspects of your own potentials. 

— Rob Brezsny

Yup, I absolutely have some internal judgey’ness. And I think this prevents me from pursuing certain things, such as picking up golf later in life, and looking/being really bad. So, I’m gonna start out by checking myself and my critical thoughts. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Embrace the regret…

“No regrets.” Some people proclaim as a life philosophy.

That’s nonsense, even dangerous. Everybody has regrets. They are a fundamental part of our lives. And if we deal with them in fresh and imaginative ways, we can enlist our regrets to make smarter decisions, perform better at work and school, and deepen our sense of meaning and purpose. 

— extracted from The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward, by Daniel H. Pink

Well, I love that. Makes me feel so much better about my past mistakes and mishaps. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Psychology tricks…

If someone insults you, pause for a second and look at them and say “are you okay?”

If you think someone is lying, look at their eyes and don’t say anything.

If you’re in an argument, keep your voice calm, it’ll give them the impression that you’re winning the argument.

Good posture increases confidence. Spread your body out and take up more space. It’ll lead to increased confidence. 

Your eyes dilate when talking to a person you love.

— @wise_psychology

I love it. Great life hacks. I’ll definitely try the looking into the eyes on a suspected lie and spread the body out/posture tactics, Lol. Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

The waiting…

At the end of the day, 

all you need is hope and strength.

Hope that it will get better, 

and strength to hold on until it does.

— Unknown

Ah yes, the waiting. Of course we know we’re supposed to live in the moment and enjoy each day as a gift. But there are times of difficult waiting (to hear back about a job, to get through a divorce and/or custody proceedings, for the house to sell, or to find a suitable home, particularly in this financial climate). In truth, the big reason I continue to write this blog is to maintain a formalized focus on hope and inspiration. This is also the reason I love Disney+. Uplifting stories get me through the tough days. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl  

Drink water!…

1. Drink a little when you’re thirsty.

2. Drink a little when you’re hungry (it might be thirst)

3. Drink a little more when you sweat a lot. 

4. Drink a little more when your pee is a darker shade of yellow.

— Mike Matthews (“Fitness isn’t everything. But everything is harder when you aren’t fit)

There are 12 big health benefits to drinking water; relieves fatigue, improves mood, helps with headaches and migraines, aids in digestion and constipation, encourages weight loss, flushes out toxins, improves brain function, prevents cramps, promotes healthy skin, eases a hangover, fights bad breath, boosts immune system. Ok! Got it! Drink waaaay more water, Lol. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. 

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Tomorrow is a new day…

Finish every day and be done with it.  

You have done what you could; 

some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; 

forget them as soon as you can.

Tomorrow is a new day.

— Ralph Waldo Emerson 

I don’t know about you, but I find February a struggle. The weather sucks. (I’m envious of you skiers out there because you have an exciting winter outlet. Given my hate-on for the cold, I’m either counting the days to spring and/or booking a beach get away. I may suffer SADS, Lol). Anyhow, it just feels like an in between month. Holiday festivities are long gone and spring/summer is a ways off yet. So for me, it feels like finish this month and then be done with it. Next month will be brighter, warmer, and filled with promise. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Real love…

Real love is an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person.

— Unknown 

A few things come to mind, based on all the therapy and relationship skills courses; first off, it takes a good match (deal breakers in the rear view), 2nd, both people need to invite the sharing of thoughts/feelings/needs/wants/concerns (creates a very safe space to collaborate, which then deepens and strengthens the bond), and 3rd, allowing for limitations and quirks is very freeing and fulfilling for both people (but the quirks need to sort of line up too, because deal breakers kill it every time). Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Taking care of your anger…

Breathing in, I know that anger is here.

Breathing out, I know that the anger is not me.

Breathing in, I know that anger is unpleasant.

Breathing out, I know this feeling will pass.

Breathing in, I am calm.

Breathing out, I am strong enough to take care of this anger.

— Thich Nhat Hanh

My favourite therapist is all about the feelings. Sessions start with “What are you feeling today? Give me three and we’ll go from there.” It took us years to get to my anger. My family of origin was defined by emotional explosions, unfortunately, and it made me leery of anger. But in the end, I learned that anger holds important information; boundaries have been crossed, something’s not working, need to make changes, etc.. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

 

Feeling seen and appreciated…

Go and love someone exactly as they are. 

And then watch how quickly they transform into the greatest, 

truest version of themselves.

When one feels seen and appreciated in their own essence, 

one is instantly empowered.

— Wes angelozzi

That sounds lovely. Because, unfortunately, the “system” seems to set us up for a lot of criticism; parents comparing one child to the other(s) or potentially rejecting a child based on uncomfortable dissimilarities, job performance reviews highlight our areas for improvement, and friends/loved airing grievances around our weaknesses and limitations. I think it would be empowering, and self-esteem building, to be unconditionally accepted exactly as we are. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Unload the baggage?…

People in therapy often ended up in therapy 

because of those in their life who 

actually needed the therapy.

— Unknown 

I am comforted to know that, according to research, about half of us have challenging family dynamics. Having said that, it’s taken (and continues to require) quite the commitment to heal and reach for the light. I’m just very grateful that I’m curious by nature, I have a passion for learning and I also love exploring human nature. I’ve always had the desire to feel lighter and more joyful as well. I mean, who really wants to drag the old baggage around forever, right? ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Ask for it…

Ask for healing, clarity, peace, wisdom, and guidance.

Ask for abundance, creativity, light and love.

Don’t be timid in your prayers or your requests.

Be bold.

Be positive.

Be grateful as everything you’re asking for is already making its way to you.

— Unknown

I’m not a religious person, but I have always believed in praying, or putting wishes out to the universe. One of my savvy coaches also advised setting very clear intentions. By this, she meant actually writing out the wishes, with detail, and focusing on those wishes. I did just that for both career and love. And it worked! Miraculously in fact. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl