It’s not about perfect. It’s about effort. And when you bring that effort every single day, that’s where transformation happens. That’s how change occurs.
- Unknown
I get tripped up in the perfection thing, probably too often. Interestingly, some of the world’s best inventions have come from “mistakes.” I need to remind my inner school marm of this, Lol. Just sayin’ ;)
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Monday, April 30, 2018
Sunday, April 29, 2018
Make it work...
“It will never be perfect.
Make it work.
- life”
- Unknown
Do we (human beings) tend to be a bit disgruntled, or is it just me? I think I understand where my personal goal of perfection took hold; parental punishments, the bell curve in university, career raises based on a grading system, and on and on. We are judged from such a young age and perhaps we continue that evaluation and critique in our lives, of ourselves, others and everything else. I think this can actually cause depression and listlessness. According to many helping professionals, this is where yoga, mindfulness, meditation, nature, music, laughing , etc. come in. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Make it work.
- life”
- Unknown
Do we (human beings) tend to be a bit disgruntled, or is it just me? I think I understand where my personal goal of perfection took hold; parental punishments, the bell curve in university, career raises based on a grading system, and on and on. We are judged from such a young age and perhaps we continue that evaluation and critique in our lives, of ourselves, others and everything else. I think this can actually cause depression and listlessness. According to many helping professionals, this is where yoga, mindfulness, meditation, nature, music, laughing , etc. come in. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Saturday, April 28, 2018
Learn new ways...
Refuse to inherit dysfunction. Learn new ways of living instead of repeating what you lived through.
- Dr Thema (Licensed psychologist, post-doctoral training at Harvard Medical Center, ordained minister, lecturer, and author. She has worked nationally and globally to provide relief and empowerment to marginalized persons. Her work is based on an interdisciplinary understanding of spirituality, gender, culture and psychology).
Hallelujah! Just sayin’ :)
Blessings,
Chatgirl
- Dr Thema (Licensed psychologist, post-doctoral training at Harvard Medical Center, ordained minister, lecturer, and author. She has worked nationally and globally to provide relief and empowerment to marginalized persons. Her work is based on an interdisciplinary understanding of spirituality, gender, culture and psychology).
Hallelujah! Just sayin’ :)
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Thursday, April 26, 2018
Changed just like that...
Actually, I just woke up one day and decided I didn’t want to feel like that anymore, or ever again. So I changed. Just like that.
- curiano.com
I couldn’t have said it better myself. This describes my evolution after a (last!) bad break up. My changes led to the perfect love of my life, the best career years of my life and an effortlessness in my life in general. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.
Blessings,
Chatgirl
- curiano.com
I couldn’t have said it better myself. This describes my evolution after a (last!) bad break up. My changes led to the perfect love of my life, the best career years of my life and an effortlessness in my life in general. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Tuesday, April 24, 2018
About understanding...
Open-minded people don’t care to be right, they care to understand. There’s never a right or wrong answer. Everything is about understanding.
- FunctionalRustic.com
I used to be a lot more defensive. My father’s favourite saying was “you’re missing the point,” which left me feeling small and eroded in some way. It became my mission to make room for the opinions of others. Even so, I was often triggered in my younger days. If someone didn’t allow me a certain courtesy, I would feel my intelligence was being insulted. Happily I chose to listen, learn and detach from any perceived arrogance/ignorance (well, to the best of my ability. I’m not Ghandi, that’s for sure, Lol). It’s really interesting to investigate a little further. Surprisingly, there’s often a decent/emotional reason for strong opinions and people soften, once they’ve been heard and validated. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.
Blessings,
Chatgirl
- FunctionalRustic.com
I used to be a lot more defensive. My father’s favourite saying was “you’re missing the point,” which left me feeling small and eroded in some way. It became my mission to make room for the opinions of others. Even so, I was often triggered in my younger days. If someone didn’t allow me a certain courtesy, I would feel my intelligence was being insulted. Happily I chose to listen, learn and detach from any perceived arrogance/ignorance (well, to the best of my ability. I’m not Ghandi, that’s for sure, Lol). It’s really interesting to investigate a little further. Surprisingly, there’s often a decent/emotional reason for strong opinions and people soften, once they’ve been heard and validated. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Monday, April 23, 2018
The people in your life...
Evaluate the people in your life; then promote, demote, or terminate. You’re the CEO of your life.
Termination sounds intense, but some people/relationships really are a drain. Maybe we can think about minimizing time spent around taxing scenarios. Just sayin’ :)
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Termination sounds intense, but some people/relationships really are a drain. Maybe we can think about minimizing time spent around taxing scenarios. Just sayin’ :)
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Sunday, April 22, 2018
More love...
Love everything you can. Love everyone you can. Focus only on things you love, feel love and you will experience that love and joy coming back to you - multiplied! The law of attraction must send you back more things to love. As you radiate love, it will appear as though the entire Universe is doing everything for you, moving every joyful thing to you, and moving every good person to you. In truth, it is.
- The Secret
Makes sense if you believe in the “Law of attraction.” I don’t know if there’s a down side to giving and feeling more love. I know some people are true realists and may think this is a utopian notion and may can cause more disappointment. I remember reading an article in a psychology magazine that said the glass half full/glass half empty mindsets are just different strategies for coping. More often than not, however, I read that a positive attitude creates more happiness and joy, regardless of the outcome. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.
Blessings,
Chatgirl
- The Secret
Makes sense if you believe in the “Law of attraction.” I don’t know if there’s a down side to giving and feeling more love. I know some people are true realists and may think this is a utopian notion and may can cause more disappointment. I remember reading an article in a psychology magazine that said the glass half full/glass half empty mindsets are just different strategies for coping. More often than not, however, I read that a positive attitude creates more happiness and joy, regardless of the outcome. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Saturday, April 21, 2018
Habits...
People don’t decide their futures. They decide their habits and their habits decide their futures.
- success.portal
They say it’s the commitments we make on a routine basis that set our course; eating habits, exercise, alcohol consumption, updating career skills, improving our relationship skills, saving money. It’s up to us and I guess it depends how important positive change is to us. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.
Blessings,
Chatgirl
- success.portal
They say it’s the commitments we make on a routine basis that set our course; eating habits, exercise, alcohol consumption, updating career skills, improving our relationship skills, saving money. It’s up to us and I guess it depends how important positive change is to us. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Wednesday, April 18, 2018
Building success...
Success is not built on success. It’s built on failure. It’s built on frustration. Sometimes it’s built on catastrophe.
- Unknown
What I’ve noticed is how long things can take. There are so many steps involved in achieving a worthy goal. I remember my high school basketball coach saying that perseverance is the name of the game in life. I’ve also heard that 10,000 hours of practice are required to achieve the highest level of excellence. Makes me feel better about the twenty seven years I’ve invested in the day job and yet noticing room for improvement. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.
Blessings,
Chatgirl
- Unknown
What I’ve noticed is how long things can take. There are so many steps involved in achieving a worthy goal. I remember my high school basketball coach saying that perseverance is the name of the game in life. I’ve also heard that 10,000 hours of practice are required to achieve the highest level of excellence. Makes me feel better about the twenty seven years I’ve invested in the day job and yet noticing room for improvement. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Tuesday, April 17, 2018
Take good care...
When you start taking care of yourself, you start feeling better, and you start looking better and you even start to attract better. It all starts with you.
- Unknown
What motivates and inspires us? Is it genetics, upbringing, past experiences or a combination of factors? Interestingly, my uh huh moment came after a particularly bad break up, with two divorces in tow. I hadn’t set out to overhaul my life. I simply didn’t want to get in and out of another relationship... ever, if possible. Then I thought, I wonder what would happen if I really committed to myself and my life. Somehow, I did exactly that. I made sweeping changes; no more sugar (and I have a huge sweet tooth, preferring chocolate cake for dinner as opposed to steak or lasagna), work harder at the day job, even if it’s one extra call or email, formalize my passion for writing (been writing every day for fun since the age of 10) and finally I gave myself permission to say “no” when I really need to. I am still amazed at the outcome, and the rewards keep on a comin’! I found the miraculous love of my life, I’ve had the best three years of my career, I am making more money than ever and I feel more joy and fulfillment than I ever have. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.
Blessings,
Chatgirl
- Unknown
What motivates and inspires us? Is it genetics, upbringing, past experiences or a combination of factors? Interestingly, my uh huh moment came after a particularly bad break up, with two divorces in tow. I hadn’t set out to overhaul my life. I simply didn’t want to get in and out of another relationship... ever, if possible. Then I thought, I wonder what would happen if I really committed to myself and my life. Somehow, I did exactly that. I made sweeping changes; no more sugar (and I have a huge sweet tooth, preferring chocolate cake for dinner as opposed to steak or lasagna), work harder at the day job, even if it’s one extra call or email, formalize my passion for writing (been writing every day for fun since the age of 10) and finally I gave myself permission to say “no” when I really need to. I am still amazed at the outcome, and the rewards keep on a comin’! I found the miraculous love of my life, I’ve had the best three years of my career, I am making more money than ever and I feel more joy and fulfillment than I ever have. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Monday, April 16, 2018
Not powerless...
Everything changes when we stop behaving as if we are powerless.
- Melody Ross (American artist, writer, entrepreneur. She is one of the most well-known names in the art and design community, for her original company Chatterbox and her current company Brave Girls Club. She is known for her unique, soulful art, her positivity in the face of adversity and her hard-earned wisdom. Ross is happily married with five children).
I was schooled on the “victim mentality” many years ago. This was a foreign concept to me because I had been victimized, for real. My coach explained that we have to make peace with our paiful experiences and reclaim our lives. We are supposed to embrace our adult selves and make healthy decisions moving forward, rather than being stuck in an unconscious, child-like state (I’m paraphrasing). This doesn’t seem to come easily or quickly in my experience, and I certainly benefitted from a number resources; life coaching, psychologist, energy work, to name a few. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.
Blessings,
Chatgirl
- Melody Ross (American artist, writer, entrepreneur. She is one of the most well-known names in the art and design community, for her original company Chatterbox and her current company Brave Girls Club. She is known for her unique, soulful art, her positivity in the face of adversity and her hard-earned wisdom. Ross is happily married with five children).
I was schooled on the “victim mentality” many years ago. This was a foreign concept to me because I had been victimized, for real. My coach explained that we have to make peace with our paiful experiences and reclaim our lives. We are supposed to embrace our adult selves and make healthy decisions moving forward, rather than being stuck in an unconscious, child-like state (I’m paraphrasing). This doesn’t seem to come easily or quickly in my experience, and I certainly benefitted from a number resources; life coaching, psychologist, energy work, to name a few. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Sunday, April 15, 2018
Dreams alive...
Dreams and dedication are a powerful combination.
- Unknown
Does “it” always happen if we nurture our dreams and persevere? Maybe not, but at least we won’t be going down without a fight. Just sayin’ :)
Blessings,
Chatgirl
- Unknown
Does “it” always happen if we nurture our dreams and persevere? Maybe not, but at least we won’t be going down without a fight. Just sayin’ :)
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Saturday, April 14, 2018
Brain capacity...
The structure of your brain changes every time you learn something new.
- Unknown
That would mean we’re not necessarily bound by genetics. Interesting. Makes me think of the saying “where there’s a will, there’s a way.” Perhaps if we want something badly enough, we can grow and evolve into it. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.
Blessings,
Chatgirl
- Unknown
That would mean we’re not necessarily bound by genetics. Interesting. Makes me think of the saying “where there’s a will, there’s a way.” Perhaps if we want something badly enough, we can grow and evolve into it. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Friday, April 13, 2018
Judgment...
If you judge people, you have no time to love them.
- Mother Teresa
Great reminder. It’s so easy to observe and critique on auto-pilot. When I notice the negativity, I try to imagine what it’ s like to be them and think kind and forgiving thoughts. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.
Blessings,
Chattily
- Mother Teresa
Great reminder. It’s so easy to observe and critique on auto-pilot. When I notice the negativity, I try to imagine what it’ s like to be them and think kind and forgiving thoughts. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.
Blessings,
Chattily
Thursday, April 12, 2018
Managing fear and doubt...
It takes no time for the Universe to manifest what you want. Any time delay you experience is due to your delay in getting to the place of believing, knowing, and feeling that you already have it. It is you getting yourself on the frequency of what you want. When you are on that frequency, then what you want will appear.
- The Secret
Whether we’re atheist/agnostic/spiritual/religious, fear and doubt are real human emotions to contend with. My favourite therapist says try to be aware of the feelings, allow them to be there and then replace the thoughts with the more optimistic heart-felt wishes. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.
Blessings,
Chatgirl
- The Secret
Whether we’re atheist/agnostic/spiritual/religious, fear and doubt are real human emotions to contend with. My favourite therapist says try to be aware of the feelings, allow them to be there and then replace the thoughts with the more optimistic heart-felt wishes. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Wednesday, April 11, 2018
Calming the mind...
Train your mind to be calm in every situation.
- Unknown
This is high on my list of skills to cultivate and is of course easier said than done. Apparently one third of North America suffers from anxiety and/or depression.
9 Ways to Calm Your Anxious Mind (compliments of Melanie Greenberg, Ph.D., Psychology Today, June 28, 2015 issue)
Powerful research-based approaches to stop racing thoughts and move forward.
1. Attempt Cognitive Distancing
Try to see your anxious thoughts as guesses not facts. Just because something could happen, doesn’t mean it will.
2. Try Cognitive De-fusion
Stop being fused with your thoughts. Think of your thoughts as moving data passing through your mind rather than objective truth about a situation.
3. Practice Mindfulness
Practice observing your thoughts, rather than reacting automatically to them. Think of your thoughts as clouds floating by.
4. Focus on Direct Experience
Your mind makes up stories about who you are, and about your safety and lovability. Not all of these stories are accurate.
5. Label Things
Label the type of thought you are having, rather than paying attention to its content; judging, worrying, criticizing. Do you want to spend your time judging and worrying?Are there less judgmental or worried ways to see the situation.
6. Stay in the Present
Is your mind regurgitating the past? Just because something negative happened in the past doesn’t mean it has to happen today. Ask yourself if the circumstances, or your knowledge and coping abilities have changed since the last time.
7. Broaden Your View
Anxiety makes our minds contract and focus on the immediate threat without considering the broader context. Question whether this situation is really as important as your anxiety says it is?
8. Get up and get going
Do a different task or activity to get your mind stuck out of the loop.
9. Decide Whether a Thought is Helpful
Even if a thought is true doesn’t mean that it is helpful to focus on it, not all the time. Focus your attention on what is helpful and let the rest go!
Great tips!
Blessings,
Chatgirl
- Unknown
This is high on my list of skills to cultivate and is of course easier said than done. Apparently one third of North America suffers from anxiety and/or depression.
9 Ways to Calm Your Anxious Mind (compliments of Melanie Greenberg, Ph.D., Psychology Today, June 28, 2015 issue)
Powerful research-based approaches to stop racing thoughts and move forward.
1. Attempt Cognitive Distancing
Try to see your anxious thoughts as guesses not facts. Just because something could happen, doesn’t mean it will.
2. Try Cognitive De-fusion
Stop being fused with your thoughts. Think of your thoughts as moving data passing through your mind rather than objective truth about a situation.
3. Practice Mindfulness
Practice observing your thoughts, rather than reacting automatically to them. Think of your thoughts as clouds floating by.
4. Focus on Direct Experience
Your mind makes up stories about who you are, and about your safety and lovability. Not all of these stories are accurate.
5. Label Things
Label the type of thought you are having, rather than paying attention to its content; judging, worrying, criticizing. Do you want to spend your time judging and worrying?Are there less judgmental or worried ways to see the situation.
6. Stay in the Present
Is your mind regurgitating the past? Just because something negative happened in the past doesn’t mean it has to happen today. Ask yourself if the circumstances, or your knowledge and coping abilities have changed since the last time.
7. Broaden Your View
Anxiety makes our minds contract and focus on the immediate threat without considering the broader context. Question whether this situation is really as important as your anxiety says it is?
8. Get up and get going
Do a different task or activity to get your mind stuck out of the loop.
9. Decide Whether a Thought is Helpful
Even if a thought is true doesn’t mean that it is helpful to focus on it, not all the time. Focus your attention on what is helpful and let the rest go!
Great tips!
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Tuesday, April 10, 2018
Clutter...
Clutter is not just physical stuff. It’s old ideas, toxic relationships and bad habits. Clutter is anything that does not support your better self.
- Eleanor Brown (American New York Times/international bestselling novelist, anthologist, teacher).
It’s so easy to go into auto-pilot, accumulating stuff and who wants to spend time cleaning out closets and storage boxes when you can have fun doing something else. I’ve been clearing out my devices of late to make space for new and exciting apps and I’m surprised at how freeing it is. On some level, outdated music/photo’s/relationships are very heavy. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.
Blessings,
Chatgirl
- Eleanor Brown (American New York Times/international bestselling novelist, anthologist, teacher).
It’s so easy to go into auto-pilot, accumulating stuff and who wants to spend time cleaning out closets and storage boxes when you can have fun doing something else. I’ve been clearing out my devices of late to make space for new and exciting apps and I’m surprised at how freeing it is. On some level, outdated music/photo’s/relationships are very heavy. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Monday, April 9, 2018
What is needed...
The planet does not need more “successful people.” The planet desperately needs more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers and lovers of all kinds.
- Dalai Lama
Food for thought, isn’t it. Kinda takes the pressure off needing to be a rock star at something, when nothing’s jumping out. I spent years trying to figure out what my driving passion is. Turns out, I have lots and lots of enthusiastic interests and not one of them has turned into a career, despite my determined efforts. Of course, the story isn’t over yet... Just sayin’ ;) Hugs.
Blessings,
Chatgirl
- Dalai Lama
Food for thought, isn’t it. Kinda takes the pressure off needing to be a rock star at something, when nothing’s jumping out. I spent years trying to figure out what my driving passion is. Turns out, I have lots and lots of enthusiastic interests and not one of them has turned into a career, despite my determined efforts. Of course, the story isn’t over yet... Just sayin’ ;) Hugs.
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Sunday, April 8, 2018
Our happiness...
Being happy is a very personal thing and it really has nothing to do with anyone else.
- Unknown
Interesting thought. Certainly, we are affected by others/events; a troublesome colleague, over-bearing manager, controlling spouse, misbehaving children, a road rager, job loss, rising cost of living and on and on. I guess it’s all in how we manage ourselves, our thoughts and emotions. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.
Blessings,
Chatgirl
- Unknown
Interesting thought. Certainly, we are affected by others/events; a troublesome colleague, over-bearing manager, controlling spouse, misbehaving children, a road rager, job loss, rising cost of living and on and on. I guess it’s all in how we manage ourselves, our thoughts and emotions. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Saturday, April 7, 2018
Do our bit?....
I had a stimulating philosophical discussion with a dear froend over coffee this morning and we shared our concerns around societal ills and the scariest parts of human nature. We fretted about whether there could ever be a solution to inequalities and injustices in the world. Then we had the refreshing realization that if we do one little thing to make the world a better place, for a start, maybe that’s enough. Just sayin’ :). Hugs. xo
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Friday, April 6, 2018
Afraid to know...
We want answers but we’re afraid to ask. Sometimes the truth hurts and so we lie to ourselves.”
- r.h. Sin
What are we in denial about? My favourite therapist says half the battle is acknowledging and then feeling around our issues. Then we can maybe let them go. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs.
Blessings,
Chatgirl
- r.h. Sin
What are we in denial about? My favourite therapist says half the battle is acknowledging and then feeling around our issues. Then we can maybe let them go. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs.
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Thursday, April 5, 2018
Our time...
There’s only one thing more precious than our time and that’s who we spend it on.
- Leo Christopher, Author
My favourite therapist says we should always be true to ourselves and others, which may mean spending less time with people... even if it’s friends and/or family. Just sayin’ :)
Blessings,
Chatgirl
- Leo Christopher, Author
My favourite therapist says we should always be true to ourselves and others, which may mean spending less time with people... even if it’s friends and/or family. Just sayin’ :)
Blessings,
Chatgirl
Tuesday, April 3, 2018
Faith over worry...
You can create anything you want, but to do that you must follow the principles of the law. Eliminate all doubt and replace it with the full expectation that you will receive what you are asking for. If you are not receiving what you are asking for, it is not the law that has failed. It means that your doubt is greater than your faith.
- The Secret
I do battle with this a lot. Fear/worry vs faith and believing my wishes will come true. One thing I know for sure is that worry never helps me. It just causes more stress. They say take a deep breath, or many deep breaths, and try to blank the mind. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.
Blessings,
Chatgirl
- The Secret
I do battle with this a lot. Fear/worry vs faith and believing my wishes will come true. One thing I know for sure is that worry never helps me. It just causes more stress. They say take a deep breath, or many deep breaths, and try to blank the mind. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.
Blessings,
Chatgirl
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