Expectation...

Expectation is a powerful attractive force. Expect the things you want and don’t expect the things you don’t want.

- The Secret

Intentions and expectations are both supposed to be miracle workers, if we can stop our minds from worrying about the how. They say just put it out “there” and miraculous things will happen. I’ve pulled this off many times. I have to keep reminding myself though. I catch the fearful thoughts, based on what’s happened in the past or because I can’t see how what I want can possibly happen. I typically don’t have all the information and/or I don’t see the possibilities, yet. Staying open and quieting the mind seem to really help. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Strength in forgiveness...

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.

- Ghandi

Forgiveness seems to be a work in progress for me. I think I understand the concept. If we can understand and accept that we each have our limitations and weaknesses, then we can take things less personally and free ourselves from resentment, anger, negativity. I know I’ve accomplished this in some cases because I no longer feel “triggered.” There’s an un-hooking from the emotional turmoil, which is great actually. There are some people/circumstances that seem harder to shake. Still working on it. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Stroke of luck...

Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.

- Dalai Lama

It feels counter-intuitive at times, but I’ve had such an experience. I was passed over for a couple of jobs (when I really needed the work) only to land the role of my dreams. The position is truly a perfect fit for me. Fewf. I managed this in my love life too. Bliss is possible. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Paradise...

Paradise isn’t a place. It’s a feeling.

- L. Boyer

It took me a long time to figure this one out ;) My younger self thought the right partner would be home. Turns out, there’s some truth to that. What I didn’t know, however, was that to get to the perfect mate, I had to be at home with myself. This was not a quick or easy journey and I don’t know that I could articulate the steps. There was a lot of “inner” work, with the help of professionals from various walks of life and much time and money spent. Perhaps I could sum up best with one message... I came to the most honest place I could. Who I am, how do I want to live, what do I enjoy doing or not? I decided that would have to be ok and that would have to be enough. Game changer. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Forgive yourself...

Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn’t know before you learned it.

- Unknown

I’m still working on this one. It’s hard not to look back and shake your head. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Ability to chill ;) ...

You have to fight through some bad days to earn the best days of your life.

- Unknown

Looking back, the challenging experiences make for some funny stories and learnings. In the moment, however, not so funny. I continue to be surprised at my lack of ability to be chill in such moments. I can honestly say that those tough moments led to today’s bliss. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Don’t have to pretend...

Sometimes you meet a person and you just click - you’re comfortable with them, like you’ve known them your whole life, and you don’t have to pretend to be anyone or anything.

- Unknown

This is a very freeing and fulfilling experience. I wish I could go back in time and tell my young self to wait for it. My earlier relationships were very much like fitting the square peg into the round hole. I believed the sayings I heard; relationships take work, you have to compromise, no one’s perfect, there’s no such thing as a perfect relationship and so many more. In my experience, there are easier relationships and there are brutally tough ones. Maybe we need some of these challenging experiences to grow and evolve. I don’t know. What I know now is, I would never go back to one of those draining experiences. Love can be blissful. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Mastering our thoughts...

Self-discipline begins with the mastery of your thoughts. If you don’t control what you think, you can’t control what you do.

- Unknown

I’m surprised at how often worrisome or doubtful thoughts enter my mind. It’s kind of a full time job challenging and/or replacing those thoughts with more hopeful, confident and faith-based beliefs. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Develop the capacity...

To live greatly, we must develop the capacity to face trouble with courage, disappointment with cheerfulness, and triumph with humility.

- Thomas S. Monson (American religious leader, recipient of four honorary doctorate degrees, appointed by Ronald Reagan to the US President’s Task Force for Private Sector initiatives).

We grow up and move out of home. Most of us graduate high school and perhaps complete college and/or post graduate studies. Then what? Do we keep studying and learning? It took me a while to realize I could really benefit from intensive studies in relationship skills (and end up with the love and relationship of my dreams). Research proves that we can re-wire our brains and develop new capacities. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Comfortable in your skin...

I am obsessed with becoming a woman comfortable in her skin...

-Unknown

Does anyone get this right at a young age? I was always embarassed by my background. We had no money and coming from immigrant roots, we ate strange food, had a vegetable garden when our neighbours had pools and seemed to have a completely different set of rules than our friends and classmates. It was tough. I felt like I was living on two different planets. It’s taken me forever to be comfortable with myself in any environment. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Be yourself...

Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself.

- Coco Chanel

Sounds so simple, but we tend to care about what other people think. We want to be liked. Again, the judgy thing. We’re critiqued and molded from such a young age. We either don’t figure out who we are, or we’re too busy trying to fit in and/or please people. Seems like we need to get back to basics and find the comfort in our own skin. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

It’s just done...

Sometimes it’s just done...
Just walk away
and move on...
no ugly words...
no formal goodbyes...
just no more.

- Unknown

Those drama filled, exhausting relationships come to mind. I’ve been in a few and they’re very, very draining, kinda like watering a dead plant ;) Helping professionals will tell us to stop engaging. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

You vs you...

Prove yourself to yourself, not to others.

- Unknown

We do have a tendency to stack ourselves up against others, don’t we. I think our parents/teachers/bosses may have spent too much time critiquing and not enough time complimenting. I know people have always compared my sister and me; who they think is prettier, who’s smarter and who’s doing better in school. In my sales career, they always list who’s at the top, bottom and everything in between, which I guess they figure will make us work harder. Nobody wants to live with sitting at the bottom, that’s for sure. So maybe we should cut ourselves some slack when we judge ourselves. On the other hand, it feels so much better to tell ourselves what we’re doing well and where we’re kind and lovely. Apparently, we have the “neuroplasticity” in our brains to change some of the hardwired inner critique. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

To be free...

To be free you have to let go.

- Unknown

Letting go can be easier said than done. I’m still working on some of my past choices. They say we have to forgive, both ourselves and others. It’s just so hard looking back now with all the information at our disposal. I’m not sure why it’s so painful, but I do I know I feel better when I tell myself I made the best decisions possible with what I knew then. After all, is it so bad making decisions based on hope and optimism? Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Work ethic...

You can’t have a million dollar dream with a minimum wage work ethic.

- Unknown

They say “do what you love and the money will follow.” I think there’s a lot of truth to that. I’ve never been able to consistently force myself to do things I don’t want to do. When I follow my passions and focus on activities that bring me joy and fulfillment, time flies. It doesn’t feel like work. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Man’s downfall...

A man cannot become a hero until he can see the root of his own downfall.

-Aristotle

Wise words indeed. It’s not easy to acknowledge our limitations. In my experience, after acceptance comes a certain amount of freedom. I’m not sure why we expect so much from ourselves. I‘ve realized from working with teams that we all have something to contribute and the whole truly can be greater than the sum of the parts. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Empty cup...

You can’t pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself first.

- Unknown

I came to this conclusion about four years ago, after a bad break up. I wasn’t taking proper care in my romantic life and ended up on the butt end of a nasty betrayal. I knew deep down that my relationship wasn’t working, but I was putting off blowing everything up. I find it really hard to break up, especially when living together. While I was busy putting off dealing with the situation, my Ex went ahead and delved fully into a new relationship. Ugh. I now take care of my own business first and branch out from there. I’ve learned to respect that I have less to give at times. Putting yourself first and potentially letting people down takes getting used to. In the end, all aspects of my life are more fulfilling than they’ve ever been and when I do have the energy to give I am much more present, engaged and happy to be there. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Love you...

To creat the life of your dreams, the time has come for you to love You. Focus on your joy. Do all the things that make You feel good. Love You, inside and out. Everything will change in your life, when you change the inside of you. Allow the Universe to give you every good thing you deserve, by being a magnet to them all. To be a magnet for every single thing you deserve, you must be a magnet of love.

- The Secret

Sounds fru fru perhaps. I wondered for the longest time about the advice “go inward.” I had no idea what that meant and no idea how to do it. In the end, I found going inward to be an emotionally complicated journey requiring much focus, discipline, assistance from professionals and difficult to manage funding. I also found that the root of our insecurities and low self-esteem tends to be our upbringing and conditioning... and this doesn’t go away overnight, that’s for sure. Good news is, there’s a shift in mentality that can happen and that’s a game changer. Instead of letting that pesky internal critic run the show, we can begin to focus on the things we want and spend more time being hopeful. We can say nice things to ourselves, the power of which should never be underestimated. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Love what you have...

When you love what you have, you have everything you need.

- Unknown

I am no stranger to the financial crisis of 2008 and beyond. I had just hit a career peak, only to realize the terrible timing. I was layed off and there were no jobs for quite some time. When jobs did come up, they paid half what I was used to earning. This was a very surreal and scary time for me. I ran through all of my RRSP’s and accumulated alarming debt. Interestingly, I am still noticing the silver lining. Out of complete necessity, I learned how to stop spending. I’m flush again, and yet I can’t bring myself to spend a whole lot. For some reason, I don’t feel the need. Instead, I enjoy watching my investments grow. I often pause to smile because I know I have everything I need. I met the love of my life a few years ago, I’m in the perfect job, I have more treasured friends than a girl may deserve and I am truly content. No amount of money could make me happier (comfortortable, sure, but not happier) than I am today. How cool is that. Just sayin :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Happen to things...

it had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. they went out and happened to things.

- leonardo da vinci

I’ve always envied people who knew what they wanted to do from an early age; doctor, pilot, politician, environmental activist, teacher or what have you. My career path was much less obvious. I’ve always had many interests and seemed to be able to accomplish a certain amount, when properly focused. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl