- Your parents did the best they could, AND their choices wounded you.
- You love someone AND you know it’s not healthy to keep them in your life.
- You’re terrified to take the next step AND you know it’s the right thing to do.
- You want to have a healthy relationship AND unresolved trauma is making it difficult.
- You’re afraid to fail AND you believe in yourself
— @drheidigreen
One thing that really stood out in intensive therapy is the “internalized parent.” I learned that we tend to be quite conditioned by our upbringing and it can be hard to break away from those early judgments/expectations. For example, in my family of origin, which is Italian dominant (and Catholic, which I abandoned long ago), you get married, rather than shack up, you don’t get divorced and you have kids, damn it. If (when) you veer from those cherished traditions, the community judges, and feels betrayed on some level, I think. So my two divorces, zero kids and abandonment of Catholicism are quietly frowned upon. I know I’m not alone in this cultural divide (because you see it in movies/shows and read about it all the time), where the parents came over from the old country and expect their kids to live according to the old traditions, in this new world (I’m thinking The Big Sick, which was an incredible movie, featuring the pressure of arranged marriage vs falling in love). It’s not easy being true to yourself when it disappoints your parents/culture. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
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