Your own self love…

Columnist Linda Weltner says that there’s a dual purpose to cleaning your home, rearranging the furniture, adding new art to the walls, and doting on your potted plants. Taking good care of your environment is a primary way of taking good care of yourself. She writes, “The home upon which we have lavished so much attention is the embodiment of your own self love.”

— Rob Brezny

That makes me feel so much better about my OCD tendency around my home and car. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

 

How to find and create and cultivate love…

“Author Asli Erdogan writes, “It had been explained to me from my earliest childhood that I would know love—or that thing called ‘love’—as long as I was smart and academically brilliant. But no one ever taught me how to get that knowledge.” I’m sorry to say that what was true for her has been true for most of us: No one has ever showed us how to find and create and cultivate love. We may have received haphazard clues now and then from our parents and books and movies. But we never got a single day of formal instruction in school about the subject that is at the heart of our quest to live meaningful lives. 

— Rob Brezny, freewillastrology

My favourite therapist says most of us learn what love is not, rather than what love is. Surely our parents did the best the could, as did their parents and the parents before them. Perhaps “helicopter parenting” has something to do with this experience? Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Intellect only half the truth…

We should not pretend to understand the world only by the intellect; we apprehend it just as much by feeling. Therefore, the judgment of the intellect is, at best, only half the truth, and must, if it be honest, also come to an understanding of its inadequacy. 

— Carl Jung (Founder of analytical psychology. He advanced the idea of introvert and extrovert personalities, archetypes and the power of the unconscious. He believed in the “complex” or emotionally charged associations. His ideas have extended into art, literature, religion and beyond). 

My favourite therapist starts every session with how are you feeling? He asks for three feelings actually, which inform and direct the session. Most often, there is a link with a painful childhood experience. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

“Healing is weird”…

Some days you’re okay and you’re doing just fine. Other days it still hurts like it’s fresh. It’s a process with no definitive time frame. You just have to keep going and know that when all is said and done, you’re going to be okay.

— Unknown

I notice reminders that gently take me back in time and I don’t mind observing how I felt growing up and how this impacted me as an adult. I can’t say I particularly enjoy the more intense triggers, but when I seize the opportunity and work at resolving those old pesky ghosts (with a professional for sure), the more and more unburdened I feel. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Rejected 27 times and then succeeded :) …

People who found success despite failures: 

Dr Seuss’s first book to Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street was rejected by 27 different publishers.

— Unknown

Now that’s faith and persistence! Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Steal some time…

For Aries:

Author Albert Camus advised everyone to “steal some time and give it freely and exclusively to your own self.” That’s excellent advice for you to heed in the coming days. The cosmos has authorized you to put yourself first and grab *all* the renewal you need. So please don’t scrimp as you shower blessings on yourself. One possible way to accomplish this goal is to go on a long stroll or two. Camus says, “It doesn’t have to be a walk during which you’ll have multiple life epiphanies and discover meanings no other brain ever managed to encounter.” But I think you are indeed likely to be visited by major epiphanies and fantastic new meanings.

— Rob Brezny, freewillastrology 

I have to admit, horoscopes are a guilty pleasure. Well, at least Rob Brezny’s writing because I think he’s poetic an inspirational. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Finding success despite failures…

People who found success despite failures:

J.K. Rowling was famously rejected by a mighty 12 publishers before Harry Potter and The Philosopher’s Stone was accepted.

— Unknown

There are so many stories like this. Perhaps with enough faith, belief and perseverance we can manifest our dreams too? Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

 

Closed doors…

Be thankful for closed doors, detours and roadblocks. They protect you from paths and placed not meant for you.

— Unknown

I like to believe that. As Eckhart Tolle says in A New Earth, no matter what happens “Do not resist.” In a nutshell, what I remember most about his advice is to allow what life brings. He says allowing, rather than resisting, will save us a lot of pain. Just sayin’ :) 

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

We all have “issues”...

We all have “issues” because we all have a story. And no matter how much work you’ve done on yourself, we all snap back sometimes. So be easy on you. Growth is a dance. Not a light switch.

— Unknown

Thank you to whoever wrote that because I’ve found that no matter how much “work” I do on my issues/past traumas, I still, every now and again, find myself at the mercy of unexpected triggers. My favourite therapist says that is to be expected and that we should simply strive to observe our response, and work on creating space and time to think before reacting. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Signs of maturity...

You forgive more.

You respect differences.

You don’t force love.

You accept heartaches.

You don’t judge easily.

Small talk no longer excites you.

You become more open-minded.

Sleep is better than a Friday night out.

You sometimes prefer to be silent, rather than engage in a nonsense fight.

Your happiness does not dependent on other people, but on your inner self.  

— Unknown 

What continues to surprise me, is the power of past trauma in stirring up powerful emotion. “Triggers” can be pretty sneaky at linking the present with the past. Thank goodness I have trusted coaches to work with, which helps shorten my slide into old stuff. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Kind and loving, with boundaries...

Note to self:

It is entirely possible to be a kind, loving person who refuses to tolerate bullshit. In fact, it’s not only possible, it’s absolutely necessary.

— TheMindsJournal.com 

My favourite therapist advises that we have our own backs in a variety of ways; by being mindful of things we do out of duty and obligation and learn to say no when needed, by speaking up about our thoughts/feelings/needs and by making requests that support our own health and well-being. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

What I didn’t deserve...

I owe myself the biggest apology for putting up with what I didn’t deserve.

— Unknown

My brother, sister and I all chose different modes of coping at home; my sister went head on collision to be true to herself, my brother had a good time and sucked up the punishment and I went with the good girl strategy. What can I say, I don’t like conflict and consequences... still to this day. Unfortunately, this led to years of people pleasing, which can make for a lot of feel good moments, but also a lack of shrewd boundaries. My favourite therapist taught me about the necessity of having one’s own back. I’m still working on those guilty feelings when I put myself first, but I also believe that my health and well being need to be a priority. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Truth of things...

Sometimes you just need to talk about something—not to get sympathy or help, but just to kill it’s power by allowing the truth of things to hit the air.

— Karen Salmansohn 

Maybe this is why I talk to myself out loud so much, Lol. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. 

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

The body is self-healing...

The body is a self-healing organism, so it’s really about clearing things out of the way so that the body can heal itself.

— Barbara Brennan (American author, spiritual healer, businesswoman and teacher working in the field of energy healing. In 2011, she was listed by the Watkins Review as the 94th most spiritually influential person in the world). 

I’ve had stomach aches for as long as I can remember. I spent much of my teenage years doubled over and unfortunately the healthcare system had few answers, other than to avoid certain food groups (dairy, wheat, sugar! Ugh). I maintained the “cleanest” diet possible over the years, but one day I got fed up and asked a spiritual/alternative healthcare friend for a referral to anyone who could help me. I ended up finding “Body Talk”(non-invasive healing that taps into the body’s natural healing system) and then “Craniosacral Therapy” (form of bodywork that uses gentle touch to relieve tension in the central nervous system). The verdict on my stomach aches is basically nervous stomach, due to past trauma and life’s basic ongoing stressors. The more energy work I seem to do, the happier my tummy! Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Things you no longer need...

Know when you’ve outgrown things that you no longer need and people that are not aligned with your journey.

— @soulguidance

I don’t know about you, but I feel there’s only so much time left outside of work, chores, errands, family. The older I get, the more I realize I want/need to do more of what I want to do and less out of duty and obligation. (My favourite therapist actually advises this!). Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

“Mental shift”...

I’m not behind or unproductive. I’m doing as much as my mind and body are allowing me to do under perpetual stress and fatigue.

— Unknown

Thank you to whoever formulated that notion because Covid times have felt very much like that to me. Just sayin’ ;)  

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Protecting emotional health...

Avoiding certain people to protect your emotional health is not weakness.

It’s wisdom.

— TheMindsJournal

Boundaries. I’m still working on this one, even with excellent coaching! Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Before you diagnose yourself...

Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.

— Sigmund Freud

Lol ;) In all seriousness though, I think this is a huge point. I went from the worst job of my life to the best job of my life and the company culture/management had everything to do with employee satisfaction and fulfillment. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Be the right person...

Everyone is trying to find the right person, but nobody is trying to be the right person.

— Unknown

The biggest thing I learned in therapy/relationship workshops/life coaching is that new skills can go a long way in solving relationship dynamics. I used to turtle a lot in the past, which is very unhelpful in resolving issues. Fortunately, I’ve learned how to talk about my thoughts and feelings. In addition, my mate and I have both learned how to make kind and respectful requests of one another, so that both of our needs are met. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Figuring out some heavy stuff...

I think you are doing a beautiful job of figuring out some heavy sh-t.

— Unknown 

My favourite therapist says kudo’s to anyone who’s willing to pursue some healing and resolution of old wounds, as this work is not for the faint of heart. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl