Surviving stress...

I’m thankful for my struggle because without it I wouldn’t have stumbled across my strength.

— Unknown

I survived a very stressful period post-2008 financial crisis. It was relentless for a few years and I would NOT want to go through that again. Having said that, these super un-fun years set me up for all the joy that keeps coming my way now; four best career years of my life (and actually loving the striving), the perfect relationship (which gets to be perfect even when it isn’t perfect), fulfilment in much needed moments of solitude (would have felt lonely in the past) and the knowledge that I am strong enough to manage what comes my way (reduced fear and anxiety around the unknown than before). Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Thoughts or facts?...

Thoughts aren’t facts.

— Stacie Swift

I’ve always wondered why the unknown causes such fear and anxiety. Then I read the book Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway by Susan Jeffers. I still feel anxious when I don’t know what’s coming, but I try to focus on a task at hand instead of fixating on what I can’t control. It’s an ongoing work in progress though, Lol. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

The most beautiful person...

Kindness makes you the most beautiful person in the world,
no matter what you look like.

We have grumpy days though, don’t we. Personally, I hide if I can swing it. If not, I take a few deep breaths and have a conversation with my negativity, Lol. Just sayin’ ;)
Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Notes for tough days...

No feeling is final
It’s ok to take it one day at a time
You are so very STRONG
Asking for help is not weakness
You are loved

— Stacie Swift

I don’t know about you, but some days I just need a little inspiration to get me through. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

It’s okay...

IT’S OKAY

* To make mistakes
* To have bad days
* To be less than perfect
* To do what’s best for you
* To be yourself

— Stacie Swift (Writer, illustrator, blogger with a focus on very positive and cozy self-help thoughts and tips)

My favourite therapist says that acknowledging our deepest truths and allowing ourselves to feel what we’re feeling is the beginning of a new kind of freedom. I have had such an experience and although not too fun at the time, I can speak to the welcome unburdening. One thing that really stood out for me is that much of what we’re carrying is not necessarily our stuff. We inherit emotional weight from past generations and from the general experience of growing up. On the other hand, another trusted coach schooled me on the path to stronger mental and emotional health. This required a mental adjustment for sure. My coach went on to explain that although we were at the mercy of authority figures growing up, and we may even have been victimized, at some point we have to fully own our actions, behaviours and issues... if we want some inner peace and better quality relationships anyway. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

A born winner...

You were born to win, but to be a winner, you must plan to win, prepare to win, and expect to win.

— Zig Ziglar (A highly successful motivational speaker who knows his stuff when it comes to the process of winning)

I went through a particularly bad break up (many years ago now thank goodness) that stopped me dead and surprisingly led to a major life breakthrough. I decided to make huge commitments to myself, with bigger goals than ever before and I followed through on them each and every day. I ended up having the best four years of my career and meeting the love of my life. Above all, I feel more personally fulfilled than I imagined possible. My favourite therapist would say that’s because I now have my own back, all the way. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Determined to learn...

If you are not willing to learn, no one can help you.
If you are determined to learn, no one can stop you.

— Zig Ziglar (American author, salesman and very successful motivational speaker. Ziglar wrote over 30 books. See You at the Top, published in 1975, was his first and is still in print today).

Ziglar talks a lot about motivation and how people say it doesn’t last. Ziglar says we need to go a step further and create daily habits to get us where we want to go. Apparently, even just writing down our dreams can help. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

The new normal...

Obstacles do not block the path, they are the path.

— Unknown

They say we should expect the unexpected, that change is inevitable and that life is what happens when we’re making plans. Perhaps we should also expect to feel uncomfortable and shaken up once in a while. Maybe it’s completely normal, and totally okay, to be thrown off our game. They also say these times allow us to grow and evolve for the better, for a better life. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

When to walk away...

One of the hardest decisions you’ll ever face in life is
choosing whether to walk away or try harder.

— Unknown

My last relationship was pretty nice. We treated each other well, we were wonderful friends and we had some fun. My earlier experiences were tumultuous and stressful, so I thought this was great progress. After a time, I waved a few flags, thinking no relationship is perfect. One or two flags became more pronounced and still I waved them off. In truth, I wasn’t sure a better quality relationship existed. I grew up in world war three, with parents who had very little in common and who didn’t particularly seem to like one another. Actually, all of my relationships seemed pretty decent compared to what I grew up with. Crappy thing is, while I was having this inner discussion, I was blindsided. I took too long and the decision was made for me. Just sayin’!

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Unnecessary arguments...

I’m at the stage in my life where I keep myself out of unnecessary arguments,
so even if you tell me 1 + 1 = 5, you’re absolutely correct,
Enjoy!

— Unknown

I have to admit, I generally resist engaging in those prickly, charged discussions as well. My favourite therapist says that our conditioning from childhood sets us up for “truths” that we cling to, unless life experience challenges what we “know”. (I’m paraphrasing of course). Thing is, some of our long held beliefs may actually hold us hostage. In my experience, it takes the desire and a lot of effort, time and money to overcome some of those ingrained and unhealthy patterns. On the up-side, the view on the other side is gleaming and cozy cozy. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Clear your path...

Not all storms come to disrupt your life.
Some come to clear your path.

— Unknown

My worst storms have brought the most monumental and beautiful changes. I resisted and fought those changes. Thank goodness I didn’t have a choice at the time because I have been sooooo happy with my new life. In other words, we may not always know what’s best for us. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Let life happen...

You can’t control everything. Sometimes you just need to relax and have faith things will work out.
Let go a little and let life happen.

— Unknown

I love the idea of living in the moment, as Ekhart Tolle suggests (The Power of Now and A New Earth). I seem to need regular reminders though, and even still, I find myself worrying about the inevitable unknowns. Perhaps discomfort is just a normal part of life. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Our messy, imperfect selves...

Being our messy, imperfect, authentic selves helps create a space where others feel safe to be themselves, too. Your vulnerability can be a gift to others. How badass is that?

— B.Oakman, If You Needed a Reason to be You

My favourite therapist says that acknowledging and accepting our own messy, imperfect selves creates safety within us and allows greater fulfilment and quality relationships. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Life as it is...

Peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than how you think it should be.

— Wayne Dyer

Thing is, our families have standards (some families only accept doctor or lawyer as a profession), society tells us what success is (athlete, movie star, Steve Jobs, Lol) and our friends may be enjoying more success than us. I think we grow up comparing ourselves to others, starting from school and the old bell curve. Hopefully we can learn to measure happiness instead and pursue fun and fulfilling activities with the people we love. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Believe in yourself...

A bird sitting on a tree branch is never afraid of the branch breaking because her trust is not on the branch but on it’s own wings. Always believe in yourself.

— Unknown

My favourite therapist says we have an “internalized parent” that continues to judge and criticize everything we do. Our parents did the best they could, but they may not have given us all the positive encouragement we needed... and so we must pick up where they left off, praising and cheering ourselves on. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Some heavy sh - -! ....

I think you are doing a beautiful job figuring out some heavy shit.

— Unknown

Life brings a lot our way, some of which is traumatic. This is on top of the usual to do list; work, school, keeping up with ever-rising bills (and taxes!), a death in the family? We’re probably doing better than we give ourselves credit for. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Faithful guidance...

Let faith be your guiding light.

— Unknown

Serenity prayer:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
& Wisdom to know the difference.

My favourite therapist came to the conclusion that people tend to need something more to believe in, a power bigger than ourselves. (The Serenity prayer is commonly quoted by those in his practice). I’m not a religious person per se, but I have found that my own form of praying always seems to help. Now I just need to remember to “go inward” more often. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Do what you can...

Start where you are.
Use what you have.
Do what you can.

Is it just me, or are we pretty hard on ourselves? Maybe it’s the internalized parent or just society telling us we should be at a certain place at a certain time. As my favourite therapist would say, “we cannot change who are parents are, where we were born and what genetics and socioeconomic status we were born into.” If we’re doing the best we can, perhaps that’s good enough. If we’re dragging our heels and couching it too much, that may be all our psyche and emotional world can cope with right now. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Stop waiting...

Stop waiting for Friday, for summer,
for someone to fall in love with you, for life.
Happiness is achieved when you stop waiting for it
and make the most of the moment you are in now.

— Unknown

Eckhart Tolle would agree. He says that we actually cause ourselves more pain by resisting things that we didn’t want or expect to happen. His quote “Do not resist” has been super helpful for me in managing my world. Just sayin’ :) Hugs. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl