Who we’re becoming...

I accept who I have been, but I really love who I am becoming.

— Unknown

As I get older, I realize I’m a work in progress. Some traits seem pretty hard-wired (impatient, fussy and perfectionist about food, neatness and time), but I’ve managed to smooth a few edges for sure. It’s a load off to be more curious and interested in hearing what people think, rather than defensive or feeling like I should know more than I do. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

There are no rules...

For what it’s worth; it’s never too late, or in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. I hope you feel things you have never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find you are not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.

— F. Scott Fitzgerald (American fiction writer, including The Great Gatsby which has become required reading for virtually every American high school student, whose works illustrate the Jazz Age. While he achieved limited success in his lifetime, he is now widely regarded as one of the greatest American writers of the 20the century).

I guess all we can do is follow our heart and pursue our desires. Maybe we’re not meant to be “great”. Maybe we’re just meant to enjoy life in whatever ways catch our fancy. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

How we all feel...

My role in society, or any artist or poet’s role, is to try and express what we all feel. Not to tell people how to feel. Not as a preacher, not as a leader, but as a reflection of us all.

— John Lennon

I think I’ve posted this quote before. I just love the inclusiveness of the great John Lennon’s message. I know we’re all different (sex/culture/language/beliefs/religion/generation/small town or big city), but we are all human after all. Maybe we have more in common than we think. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Work with it...

Accept then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it.

— Eckhart Tolle

I find this tremendously hard at times. I love the concept, but unexpected occurances absolutely throw me off and require an attitude adjustment. I guess all we can do is our best and hopefully move forward with grace and character. Just sayin’ :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Find peace...

If it comes, let it.
If it goes, let it...
And you’ll find peace.

— Unknown

I wonder why change is so hard. I know I resist the hell out of it. Interestingly, the most painful and uncomfortable changes have set me free in miraculous and unexpected ways. So why the resistance?? According to Katherine Schneider and Heather Hausenblas (Psychology Today), it may be about the “perceived risk or fear associated with it.” We just don’t know what’s coming and this creates so much anxiety. For example, I struggled to leave the wrong the relationship a while back because I was afraid I wouldn’t find a more suitable partner. Deep down I knew I had to leave, but my procrastination and moments of denial ended up crashing on my head. (My live in partner had an affair with someone from our circle of friends). Fortunately, I took a hard look at my romantic history, made a few fantastic changes and then met the beautiful, perfect love of my life. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

CEO of your life...

Evaluate the people in your life;
Then promote, demote, or terminate.
You’re the CEO of your life.

— Unknown

It took me a while to figure this one out. I now know that in order to achieve my treasured goals, I need to manage my resources carefully. Time for rest, solitude and reflection have made the top of my list, right up there with romance, fun, work, friends and family. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Happy people, doing positive things...

The older I get the more I realize, I have little tolerance for drama, conflict and stress. I want to be around happy people, doing positive things, and enjoying life.

— Unknown

Just sayin’ :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Changed for the better...

Psychology says:
No matter how much it hurt now, someday you will look back and realize your struggles changed your life for the better.

— Unknown

I have found this to be true. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Never perfect...

“It will never be perfect.
Make it work.

— life”

Ah, the old perfection thing. A blessing and a curse to be sure. My siblings and I got in trouble a lot at home and in my quest to be safely invisible, you can bet I followed the rules. Similarly, at school and at work, there were (and are) consequences for straying from directives. Doing things well is great, but being held hostage to a crazy standard is quite another. I’m still working on my inner sergeant! Just sayin’ :)  Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Changing the narrative...

If you correct your mind, the rest of your life will fall into place.

— Lao Tzu (A semi-legendary Chinese philosopher, writer and founder of philisophical Taoism. Tzu is a deity in religious Taoism and traditional Chinese religions. He is known for his remarkable messages of peace, resilience, and how we can develop ourselves as a collective).

I’ve been working on my own narrative and I think the emotional/mental response is fascinating. I find my words/story either empower and free me, or keep me stuck. I really think there’s something to the whole positive thinking paradigm and setting either positive or negative intentions. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Trust...

Trust.

— Unknown

I get it. Trust, instead of worry. It’s that simple and yet it’s not simple. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Enjoying life...

The older I get the more I realize, I have little tolerance for drama, conflict and stress. I want to be around happy people, doing positive things, and enjoying life.

— Unknown

A wise coach told me to create and focus on very specific “intentions.” She said it’s all about how you want to feel in your daily life, rather than the qualities of a parter and how our managers treat us. It was a game changer for me. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Building confidence...

Strength doesn’t come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn’t do.

— Rikki Rogers (US writer, MFA U of Utah, marketing and communications specialist in the Washington DC tech industry).

I can relate. I was forced to become proficient at admin (well, for me that is), with my past employer and hated every minute of it. I am now enjoying the best three years of my career, partly becuase I know how to drill into the numbers and build a tangible, realistic strategy. Hm! Who woulda thunk ;) I feel like more of an adult professional because I have more capacity than I would have guesssed. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Comes down to us?...

It all comes back to what you eat, what you drink and what you think!

— Unknown

I’m a believer because the only thing we can really control is our own actions. Thing is, sometimes we can’t even control that! Inspiration, motivation and procrastination are very curious to me. Some days I win and the sense of accomplishment feels amazing. Other days I talk myself out of avoiding sugar and/or drinking less (‘cause I hate how it makes me feel the next day). I kind of think our emotional world has a big role to play. If I’ve had a hard day, I’m more inclined to skip the workout and eat chips and cookies for dinner. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

A little progress...

A little progress each day adds up to big results.

— Unknown

Great reminder about baby steps. Thinking about the end goal is often overwhelming. I used to break down a weekend of studying into two hour increments, with little breaks and treats at each step. It really helped get through the slogginng. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Fill my heart...

The older I get the more I realize I don’t want to be around drama and bullshit...
I prefer to be with people who fill my heart with love and make me smile.

— Unknown

Drama takes up a lot of energy. Fun, peace, love, rest are energizing. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

The wrong relationships...

The wrong relationships teach you how to recognize the right one when it arrives.

— Unknown

Trial and error isn’t the easiest way to learn, but how else are we to know? For those of us who grew up in dysfuncational families, we did not have the advantage of observing healthy and loving relationship skills. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Be real...

We were born to be real not to be perfect.

— Unknown

My favourite therapist says it’s our ego within that continually measures, judges and criticizes everything. But within, we also have “inner child, spirit (or higher self) and adult (more mature self) influences. Who’s gonna win out? Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Loving ourselves...

So many years of education yet no one taught us to love ourselves.

— Unknown

I’m sure our parents did the best they could. I know my sister, brother and I used to gang up on my Mum to try to get our way. We started talking back in our teens as well and raised hell on ourselves. It just seems that teaching and disciplining dominate, leaving little room for more advanced mentorship, such as self-care. My favourite therapist says at some point we need to take over where our parents left off and manage our own growth. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Pebble in your shoe...

It isn’t the mountains ahead to climb that wear your down. It’s the pebble in your shoe.

— Muhammad Ali

Ahh, the old battle with ourselves... do we talk ourselves into procrastinating, or do we tackle the task at hand. For example, should we work out today, get the laundry done, cook something healthy - one of the above or none of the above, Lol? I find if I stop to think about it, my brain is awesome at convincing me I can/should do it tomorrow. When I’m able to follow a routine I get a lot more done, and the accomplishment feels soooooo much better than the procrastination. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Boundaries...

I don’t think I was allowed to have boundaries when I was growing up. I learned about such things in university and continued on learning in relationship workshops, where we had to practice “clearing.” Here’s a good summary:

10 Steps to Setting Healthy Boundaries

1. Clearly identify your boundary.
2. Understand why you need the boundary.
3. Be straight forward.
4. Don’t apologize or give long explanations.
5. Start with tighter boundaries (and then loosen up if appropriate).
7. Address boundary violations early.
8. Don’t make it personal.
9. Use a support system.
10. Trust your intuition.

— PsychCentral

Some of these steps may be easier said than done because we don’t how others will react to our requests. This can be anxiety causing for sure. I’ve learned that I need to honor myself regardless. Just sayin’ :) Hugs.

Blessings,

Chatgirl