Judge a book by it's cover?...

"I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me." - Warren Buffett

Reminds me of the whole "Don't judge a book by it's cover" philosophy. I have to admit I've been dead wrong with some of my snap judgments. An example comes to mind. I was enjoying a peaceful Sunday morning of writing, the place all to myself, when a couple and young child walked in. They were loud and for some reason chose to sit right beside me at the window bar counter. The little girl caused a pretty big fuss and spilled her granola and yogurt all over the place. I was silently annoyed and busy summing the woman up based on her sort of ratty outfit/foreign accent/messy hair.... only to find out this young grandmother had a Master's in Psychology, was writing a fabulously interesting book and was truly lovely. I gave myself a sound talking to and vowed to resist the urge to judge so quickly moving forward. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Top 10 NY's Resolutions...

Compliments of Statistic Brain Research Institute:

1. Lose weight
2. Get organized
3. Spend less, save more
4. Enjoy life to the fullest
5. Stay fit and healthy
6. Learn something exciting
7. Quit smoking
8. Help others in their dreams
9. Fall in love
10. Spend more time with family

Blessings,

Chatgirl

New Year's Resolutions...

Resolutions anyone? Here are some fun facts, compliments of Wikipedia :)

The most common reason for participants failing their New Year's Resolutions was setting unrealistic goals (35%), while 33% didn't keep track of their progress and a further 23% forgot about it. About one in 10 respondents claimed they made too many resolutions.

A 2007 study by Richard Wiseman from the University of Bristol involving 3,000 people showed that 88% of those who set New Year resolutions fail, despite the fact that 52% of the study's participants were confident of success at the beginning. Men achieved their goal 22% more often when they engaged in goal setting, (a system where small measurable goals are being set; such as a pound a week, instead of saying "lose weight"), while women succeeded 10% more when they made their goals public and got support from their friends.

Happy New Year everyone! Wishing you much love, abundance and joy in 2016 :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

"Clearing"...

"Clearing" is a concept I learned in a group therapy workshop (and in truth I was only there because I was trying to save my current relationship. I wish I could say I was all noble and wanting to improve myself, Lol). I have to admit, the idea of "confronting" people terrified me. I was young and came from very limited skills in this department. What I saw growing up was a lot of fighting and very little resolving. For me, avoidance seemed the most peaceful path and a smart way to go. Yeah, so that came back to haunt me over the years of course. It is completely unrealistic to think you can go through life avoiding conflict. Once I was able to overcome the panic and fear of others' reactions, I came to understand that we can clear the air in a non-threatening way, by using openers such as "I am feeling" or "my experience is." There is one footnote, however. I have it on good authority that not everyone has the capacity to "hear" and without this capacity clearing can be a challenge, and maybe even impossible. Certainly worth a shot though :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Post mortem...

This whole blog thing happened out of a bad break up. Happily, the worst of "it" is in the rear view mirror, almost 18 months later. Fewf! Given my own post mortem, I do not envy anyone who is either in one or heading toward a break up right now. It just plain sucks. Even when things end amicably, the entire thing is a process, and usually a lengthy one at that. If you're lucky enough to have simple finances and minimal negotiating (around kids, property etc.), you're still faced with starting over in so many ways. Even if you're someone who's found new love quickly (or before?), there's usually no short cut in dispensing with a past relationship. On a positive note, sitting in the void, post break, up can be very illuminating. Serious, life altering wisdom and boundaries can come out of the worst relationships. Where we were let down, we can realize our deepest needs and wants (zero tolerance moving forward?). Where we were willing to partake in things that were not (in truth) our cup of tea, we can understand who we are and what we like doing (zero tolerance moving forward?). Where we were perhaps lukewarm on the romance, we can make a new list and decide to go for more of the things we find attractive (zero tolerance moving forward?). Where we were "going through the motions" to maybe save face or avoid disrupting/hurting others, we can now be true to ourselves and go for more spice in our lives? I mean, why not?! Why should we accept numbness or a sleepwalking stupor in our love relationships? Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love the idea of marriage and commitment. I really do. I am a die hard romantic. However! I do not think we should necessarily martyr ourselves for a lifetime either. If we change significantly, or if our partner becomes someone else, I think we deserve a realistic review of the situation and if things are untenable, we should be able to make a change for our health and well being. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Mute button...

"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something."

-Plato

Seriously though, don't you wish there was a mute button for real life? Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Temptation....

"Lead me not into temptation, I can find the way myself."
-Rita Mae Brown, American Author

What do we resist and why? .... Food/sugar/carbs to keep our weight in check, booze so we're not getting too out of control, Lol;), resorting to animal attraction, again so we're not getting out of control and/or cheating on someone we care about, procrastination, so we're not getting behind at work, or on clean underwear, Lol, eating out and shopping, so we don't blow our budget etc... Geez, that's a lot to keep in check, is it not?? I think we could stand to cut ourselves a little slack if we slip up here or there. Life is too short to be so buttoned down all the time. Of course, we are going to have to live with ourselves long term, so maybe some extra chocolate or drinks, rather than some of the other devilish alternatives, ha ha.

Happy New Year everyone! Hope 2016 is all you want it to be :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl