To do list in relationships...

20 things to start doing in your relationships:

Free yourself from negative people.
Let go of those who are already gone.
Give people you don't know a fair chance.
Show everyone kindness and respect.
Accept people just the way they are.
Encourage others and cheer for them.
Be your imperfectly perfect self.
Forgive people and move forward.
Do little things every day for others.
Always be loyal.
Stay in better touch with people who matter to you.
Keep your promises and tell the truth.
Give what you want to receive.
Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Allow others to make their own decisions.
Talk a little less and listen more.
Leave petty arguments alone.
Pat attention to your relationship with yourself.
Pay attention to who your real friends are.
Ignore unconstructive, hurtful commentary.

- Unknown

A very good reminder of the things that can bring greater contentment and peace. Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Who to trust...

"We can't ask people to give us something that we do not believe we're worthy of receiving. And you will know you're worthy of receiving it when you trust yourself above everyone else."

- Brene Brown

My favourite therapist would agree. He said something like "once you truly have your own back, everything will fall into place for you." He was right. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

The haters...

"Do not try to win over the haters; you are not a jackass whisperer."

- Brene Brown, Professor of Social Work and author of two #1 New York Times Bestsellers: The    Gifts of Imperfecion (2010) and Daring Greatly (2012). She and her work have been featured on PBS, NPR, TED and CNN.

Lol ;) But seriously, we really do have to walk our own path. People pleasing is a recipe for unhappiness in the end. Just sayin' ...

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Joy...

"Find what brings you joy and go there."

- Jan Phillips

I couldn't agree more. Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Respect...

To the people that say "you should respect your family":

1. Stop assuming that everyone has been treated well by that family.
2. Respect is not freely given, it is earned. You don't owe anyone respect. you do not owe anyone anything.
3. This line is used repeatedly in abusive situations. It is frequently used in emotional abuse in the form of gas lighting to make the survivor doubt their perceptions of events. It also is frequently used to control, manipulate and coerce behaviour.

- Unknown

It is very confusing and unsettling when family does not provide stability, comfort and safety :( Support groups and/or a great coach of some sort serve a much needed purpose in this situation. Just sayin'

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Boundaries...

"People are going to do what they want to do when they want to do it. We can express our preferences, but ultimately it is their own responsibility. If we try to control or force them in any way then it's a boundary violation on our part. So let go and trust that others will learn and grow in their own way on their own time. It will reduce a lot of unnecessary stress and improve relationship dynamics."

- jennifertwardowski.com

Well said.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Stay or go....

"At some point, you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart but not in your life."

- Anonymous

Tough call to make, but our own health and well-being is our first order of business, right? Just sayin' ...

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Karma...

"How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours."

- Wayne Dyer

We do get triggered by people and things. It's great to find a little space to think/feel before "reacting." This doesn't come quick or easy. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Perfectionism...

'When perfectionism is driving, shame is riding shotgun, and fear is that annoying backseat driver."

- Brene Brown

Perfectionism and fear can cause paralysis that's for sure. I wonder what we're missing out on? Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Act of self-care...

"Letting toxic people go is not an act of cruelty. It's an act of self-care."

- HealthyPlace.com

Letting people go is difficult when you love them and you're attached to their good qualities. Tough as it is, we must protect ourselves from toxic relationships when they compromise our own happiness and well being.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

You're worth the effort...

"Nourishing yourself in a way that helps you blossom in the direction you want to go is attainable, and you are worth the effort."

- Deborah Day

At the end of the day, happiness needs to be in our own hands. Yes, loved ones/friends/family can be there for us as best they can, but no one can live our lives for us and no one can solve our issues for us. We're better off meeting our own needs and taking great care of ourselves. Takes a lot of pressure of our relationships too :) Just sayin'!

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Attitude...

"Attitude is everything."

- Anonymous

Just sayin' ;)

Chatgirl

At home...

"Can you imagine feeling at home in the world no matter where you are? If you eventually master this art, outer circumtances won't distort your relationship with yourself. No matter how crazy or chaotic the people around you might be, you will remain rooted in your unshakable sense of purpose; you will respond to any given situation in ways that make you both calm and alert, amused and curious, compassionate for the suffering of others and determined to do what's best for you."

- Rob Brezny

Amen.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

The downs...

"Don't let the bastards cheer you up."

- Harland Miller

Sometimes you just gotta go with the bad mood. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Nourish you....

"Invent your world. Surround yourself with people, color, sounds and work that nourish you."

- Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy (Sark)

Sounds good to me ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

For a reason...

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so that you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."

-  media.photobucket.com

Amen to that :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Growing pains...

"For a seed to achieve its greatest expression, it must come completely undone. The shell cracks, it's insides come out and everything changes. To someone who doesn't understand growth, it would look like complete destruction."

- Cynthia Occelli

They say change is the only constant in life. Not sure why this be such a struggle for us? Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Not selfish...

"It's not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, and to make your happiness a priority. It's necessary."

- Mandy Hale

This is what I've been saying, Lol ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Not selfish...

"It's not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, and to make your happiness a priority. It's necessary."

- Mandy Hale

This is what I've been saying, Lol ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Relax and let it happen...

"Life should be touched, not strangled. You've got to relax, let it happen at times, and at others move forward with it."

- Ray Bradbury, celebrated 20th/21st -century American writer and Pulitzer Prize winner (2007).

We may not always succeed in relaxing, but it's a great practice. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Small, but big differences...

"Be patient with people. They're a lot more like you than you think."

- Brendon Buchard

I think that's very true. In defense of our judgments however, those differences can be challenging. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Defensive or compassionate?...

It's hard to hear "constructive" feedback from our loved ones. We have a tendency to become defensive and hurt. If we can seek to understand how they're feeling, however, we just may deepen and strengthen our relationships. We may not be able to change who we are, but if we sit in a place of caring and compassion, our peeps will likely understand us better as well. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Old fart? ;) ....

"Anyone who stops learning is old whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young."

- Henry Ford

Curiosity and openness are definitely attractive and feel good qualities. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

We are what we think...

"What world you end up living in depends at least in part on your use of language.

Do you want to move and breathe amidst infertile chaos where nothing makes sense and no one really loves anyone? Then speak with unconscious carelessness, expressing yourself lazily. Constantly materialize and entertain angry thoughts in the privacy of your own imagination, beaming silent curses out into eternity.

Or would you prefer to live in a realm that's rich with fluid epiphanies and intriguing coincidences and mysterious harmonies? Then be discerning and inventive in how you speak, primed to name the unexpected codes that are always being born right in front of your eyes. Turn your imagination into an ebullient laboratory where the somethings you create out of nothings are tinctures with the secret light you see in your dreams of invisible fire..."

- Rob Brezny

I must admit I am a believer in "we are what we think." Just sayin' :)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Adulthood...

"Adulthood is like looking both ways before you cross the street and then getting hit by an airplane."

- LMFAOquotes.com

You never know what's around the next corner, that's for sure ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

To save or not to save?...

A treasured coach offers this very sage advice when determining whether or not people are leaning too heavily on us for support and comfort.

* A relationship should be mutual and consenting, with boundaries honoured and respected.
* We are well within our rights to determine how and when to "spend" our precious and limited energy.
* We should allow ourselves to "just say no" when we're feeling compromised and/or drained.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Older...

"When I was a kid, I wanted to get older. This shit is not what I expected."

- Anonymous

Ain't that the truth ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl