Peer group...

"Stop waiting and find your Tribe. Someone recently asked how to find a mentor. When I started out, I created a peer group and I think a peer group can help you more than a mentor. If you get people together who are powerless, unsuccessful and striving, and you show up for each other then you become your own mentor group. That same group who all had crappy jobs and all wanted to be writers - like me - are still the first people who read my manuscripts 20 years later. If your tribe doesn't exist yet, you may need to be the person to found the group. You might be the tribal leader. If the thing you need doesn't exist, create it. That's the ultimate creativity."

- Elizabeth Gilbert, Author of Eat, Pray, Love

That's what the "Smart Cookies" did to get out of debt and now they're successful enough to advise others with their online program. Impressive! Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Creator or bystander?...

"In my latest book Big Magic, I encourage everyone to find some creative outlet. A journalist interviewed me and asked: 'Aren't you afraid that your book is going to cause lots of people who have no talent to create lots of shitty art?' The arrogance of that question is staggering. There's a presumption that only the elite are allowed to be creative. My concern is not that the world is filled with bad art, it's more that the world might be filled with people who are not making or creating things in their life - and are just consumers or bystanders who are passively allowing things to happen to them."

- Elizabeth Gilbert, Author of Eat, Pray, Love

I think we judge ourselves like crazy and think most of what we do isn't good enough :( Ouch. But we don't have to show it to anyone if we don't want to, Lol. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Enslaved...

I read a great article recently. It talked about the times we live in and how "the employee is the new slave."

- En Route, Air Canada Magazine (sorry, can't remember the author)

Right? I'm not one to get on much of a soap box, but some things just don't seem right. We're expected to put work first and sacrifice our personal lives far too often. Then without warning, the bottom line can send us straight to the unemployment office! .... Just sayin'!

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Trial and error....

"Scribble, scribble, erase. Scribble, erase, scribble. Scribble, scribble, scribble, scribble. Erase, erase, erase. Scribble, erase. Keep what's left."

- Alex Stein, Aphorist (someone who makes astute observations that can be considered general truths)

Yup, a lot of trial and error in life. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Ray of light...

In truth, this whole blog thing is a search for meaning and understanding. I'm a pretty "up" person and I can generally keep going and find the positive in just about anything... But I still find I need to seek out words of wisdom, inspiration and hope. Just sayin...

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Quit or surrender?...

"Know the difference between quitting and surrendering. Quitting and surrender are two very different things. Quitting sources like 'I don't feel like it, I'd rather watch Dowton Abbey. It's hard, I'm bored." Surrendering sounds like 'I've come to the end of my power and have nothing else I can do and nothing else to give.' Some of the most shameful experiences of my life came from quitting. The most beautiful experiences of my life came from surrendering. When you surrender, you recognize that you're not the most powerful force in the universe; you let go and accept whatever happens next."

- Elizabeth Gilbert, Author of Eat, Pray, Love

Eckhart Tolle, Author of The Power of Now and A New Earth would say something similar. He would say whatever happens "Do not resist." He would also say "Do not label things as good or bad. Just accept and trust what life brings." Tolle says additional pain comes from resisting what is or what has happened. He says if we can accept what is and get busy moving forward, the pain will subside more quickly. Sometimes what has gone "wrong" turns into the best thing that's ever happened to us.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

No guarantee...

"Stop waiting for a guarantee. I met a woman recently who wanted to start writing a book but was having trouble believing that the universe would actually give her the result that she wanted - a publishing deal. It might not, I said to her. There is no certainty. You do not know where the adventure is going to take you. If you want to know how the adventure ends, you're never going to start it. 'But what if I go on an adventure and find nothing?' people ask. Show me when that ever happens. Please bring me the person who went on a sincere and open-hearted search and found nothing out about themselves. You may not find what you wanted to find - however, you will definitely know a great deal more about yourself at the end of the journey than at the beginning. Don't avoid going on that journey because you might be disappointed. Who among us has been spared disappointment or frustration? It's part of the journey."

- Elizabeth, Author of Eat, Pray, Love

Well said.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

"Patience and self-forgiveness" ...

"Be patient with yourself. You don't have to make a huge leap to make changes in your life. Everyone's looking for the lightning strike, the epiphany, the Moses-and-the-burning-bush moment. There is something very dramatic and exciting about that. But it doesn't often happen. It's more like a trail of breadcrumbs - it's a scavenger hunt. I know people have read Eat, Pray, Love and see this big, dramatic journey, but there were three years of a collapsing marriage before I did anything. It wasn't as if I came home one day, and slammed the door very cinematically and walked out with a squeal of tyres on the gravel drive. I cried every single day for three years, looking for other solutions, and cried for three years after. We all want the short cut. We long for "aha" moments when we are given the answer. And yes, they do come. But then you still have to fix the 20 things that need to be fixed. What we need more than anything is patience and self-forgiveness - as well as being able to forgive others - because change is not an easy thing to do."

- Elizabeth Gilbert, Author of Eat, Pray, Love

In my personal experience, even with a strong desire, much focus and hard work, change is a process.  We're dealing with genetics, upbringing, past relationships and experiences. I've heard a lot of people talk about how, surprisingly, life doesn't get easier as we age. You'd think we would be less sensitive over the years, but a certain amount of post-traumatic stress seems to haunt us. So, yeah, patience and forgiveness for self and others sounds like a really kind (and realistic) way to go.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

No certainty...

"Stop looking so hard for certainty. There are paradoxes and uncertainty, and as long as we keep looking for rules that will hold us safe from paradox and uncertainty, the more anxious we'll feel."

- Elizabeth Gilbert, Author of Eat, Pray, Love

Elkhart Tolle, Author of The Power of Now and A New Earth says "Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have."

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Off the hook...

"You'll find the life and love you've been dreaming of when you have your own back."

- Joel Brass, Therapist/teacher

In other words, we're supposed to meet our own needs for the most part. Although people can be there for us and bring us joy, it's not fair or realistic to expect others to make us happy all of the time. So when others disppointment us or let us down, we're supposed to be empathetic, if possible, and fulfill ourselves. Realistic expectations might let us all off the hook. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Befriend fear...

"Be thankful for fear. I'm a very fearful person but I have learned to thank fear: 'I understand you're trying to protect me. You're the ultimate bodyguard of my life.' We don't appreciate how fear has kept us alive this long. We're all here because at some point, our fear said 'Don't get in the car with that guy; don't walk down the street; don't go into the water - you're not a strong enough swimmer. ' We owe our fear our lives. Start by saying 'thank you, I appreciate all the ways you've saved my life. (But right now I don't need you; I'm just trying to write poetry!).' Creat an ongoing friendship with fear.

- Elizabeth Gilbert, Author of Eat, Pray, Love

Susan Jeffers, Author of Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway echo's this sentiment. I guess we have to live with the discomfort of fear and try to get used to it ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Wise words...

"Forget about being fearless, be curious about things instead."

- Elizabeth Gibert, Author of Eat, Pra, Love

Kinda takes the pressure of hey? Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Adversity...

"Adversity introduces a man to himself."

- Albert Einstein

What are we made of? I think we can surprise ourselves. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Tested...

"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved."

- Helen Keller

And she would know. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Measuring stick...

"You don't have to tone down or apologize for your prowess, because you love it when other people shine. You exult in your own excellence without regarding it as a sign of inherent superiority. As you ripen more and more of your latent aptitude, you inspire the rest of us to claim our own idiosyncratic magnificence. You're a star -- and so and I. My success encourages your brilliance and vice versa. Your charisma enhances my power -- and vice versa."

- Rob Brezny

In a perfect world, sure ;) The world loves to measure, compare, judge, but maybe we could consider life something of a golf game. Sure, we notice what the guy next to us is doing, but ultimately we each have to do the best we can with the cards we've been dealt. Just sayin' ...

Blessings,

Chatigrl

Equitable or not?...

"There comes a time when you have to stop crossing oceans for people who wouldn't even jump puddles for you."

- pinterest.com

There's a great quote in the movie Something's Gotta Give with Jack Nicholson and Diane Keaton: "Try not to keep score." I love that idea. Give and take in a relationship allows flexibility for our imperfections and life's surprises and/or setbacks. Sometimes, however, an imbalance may be legit and in need of our attention. Just sayin'

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Expectations...

A long time friend of mine continues to offer this simple, yet sage advice: "High hopes, low expectations."

Is it just me, or does this takes some effort? Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Through the cracks...

Is it just me, or do a lot of things fall through the cracks? Be it technological glitches, our faulty memories, a hang over, an extra late night, a simple mistake because we're thinking about something else... shit goes wrong, pardon my language. We're imperfect, the world is imperfect and I guess that has to be okay. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Safety in friends...

As we walk, and sometimes stumble, along the journey of life, one of the undeniable joys is love and camaraderie. I was reminded of this yesterday when catching up with two very special friends. Reaching for a lifeline at a time of profound fear and vulnerability (which often feels more like weakness) and finding certain comfort and safety, is a simple, yet profound experience. We all know that life brings wins and losses, joys and sorrows, etc., but words sometimes offer little or no solace when faced with a present and threatening challenge. True friends know when and how to take our hand, hold us, sit with us and speak or not speak. Just sayin' ...

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Hurt feelings...

"Strength of character means the ability to overcome resentment against others, to hide hurt feelings, and to forgive quickly."

- Ritu Ghatourey

A couple of things haven't gone my way lately..... So! Having to walk the walk on this one ;) Just sayin!

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Walking a fine line...

What do we do when we need to be honest about something, but we know it's not going to go over well at all?? .... I'll do some research and come back with answers ;) !!

Blessings,

Chatgirl

The old saying...

"If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you'll find an excuse."

- quotesgram.com

Or like the old saying says "Where there's a will, there's a way." Maybe we need to either make a move, or just stop talking (i.e. complaining) about "it" ... Whatever the "it" is for us. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

STRESS!!.....

"Dear stress, let's break up."

- Pinterest.com

Ha ha. If only it was that easy ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Strength in letting go...

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the ONLY option you have left."

- supersm.com

Many times in life, I've thought "I'm running out of steam" or "How long is this going to go on?" or "When will life get easier?" In the end, things eased up looooong after I thought I was at my wits end. I hate to say it, but life just sorta got better after I gave up. Well, not really gave up, but rather let go or "surrendered." We can control some things, but often life just takes it's own course. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl
 

The power of information...

In the quest for better coping strategies and inner peace, I was recently reminded of information as a potential lifeline. It is surprisingly comforting to read about similar stories. So many of our experiences are truly universal and it's nice to know we're not alone... and that feeling hurt and vulnerable doesn't necessarily make us weak, but simply human. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Whining....

"Shut the fuck up and stop complaining."

- eatthewords.com

I think we'd all agreed there's a statute of limitations on complaining - or at least there should be. But what do you do when an "issue" drags on and on and you can't seem to get yourself out of that lingering bad mood? I have to admit I turned into bitter/angry girl after a bad break up at one point and three people I loved and trusted pointed it out. Right!! I stopped complaining that minute. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Character...

"The depth and strength of a human character are defined by its moral reserves. People reveal themselves completely only when they are thrown out of the customary conditions of their life, for only then do they have to fall back on their reserves."

- Leonardo da Vinci

We're tested. We see what we're really made of and what others are made of. Then we can decide how and with whom we want to spend our time. Just sayin'

Blessings,

Chatgirl

Resistance to change...

"Anyone who has ever built a new heaven first found the power to do so in his own hell."

- Friedrich Nietzcsche

The moral of the story is that our experiences, however dire, may well set us up for the newest and most wonderful of realities. I read another quote that suggested change (which we so often resist) is often far better than the old life we're clinging to.

Blessings,

Chatgirl

The night before Monday morning ;)...

"I can hear Monday morning already whispering 'Go fuck yourself into my ear.'"

- Rebel Circus

I thought it was just me getting anxious and slightly sad on Sundays as the day progressed! Bad job, good job, doesn't seem to matter. Just sayin' ;)

Blessings,

Chatgirl