Real love vs the idea of love…

People don’t like love, they like that glittery flirty feeling. They don’t love love - love is sacrificial, love is ferocious, it’s not emotive. Our culture doesn’t love love, it loves the idea of love. It wants the emotion without paying anything for it.

— Unknown

The “honeymoon phase” of a relationship comes to mind, where the rose-tinted glasses are in full effect and we either don’t see or we ignore red flags. Fast forward a few years, or more if you’re lucky, and annoying habits and idiosyncrasies creep in. I don’t know about you, but I learned about my deal breakers FAR too late in life. Better late than never, I finally realized (with loads of therapy and education) that ALL of my past relationships had glaring incompatibilities. It’s really worth the time and effort figuring out how to choose the best-suited partner for your happiness and well being. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Swearing linked to increased pain tolerance ;)…

“It’s something we all share, and it’s really magical… It does something for us” according to Olli Robertson, psychology researcher at Oxford. 

“Swearing is ‘a drug free, calorie-neutral, cost free means of self-help,’ said Richard Stephens, a researcher and senior lecturer in psychology at Keele University in England. 

Besides pain tolerance, swearing’s been linked to bolstered social bonds, improved memory, and an alleviation of the social pain of exclusion or rejection. “Neurologically the pathways for physical pain and emotional pain are the same” Robertson said. “When you have heartbreak, it’s the same neural structures. It’s the same biological blueprint, and that’s why it feels so visceral, because it literally is.”

— Excerpt from “Cursing in any language is good for you — we swear!” Province newspaper, March 28th 2025 (article written by Sam Jones, Washington Post)

Huh! Let the swearin’ continue then, Lol. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Key is acceptance, not positivity…

As I grew older, I learned that the key to surviving the day is not positivity, its acceptance. Accepting that not all days are good and happy, you will have bad days, you make mistakes, you fail, you mess up, everything’s not going to fall into place and that’s okay.

— Unknown  

I was complaining back in my single days, and I remember a good friend saying, “Girl, the key is high hopes, low expectations.” He was so right. I wish I could go back and tell my younger self to hold out for a better match. When I became completely honest about who I am, and how I want to live my life, Mr Right appeared. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Choose not to believe your negative (and fearful) thoughts…

You don’t need to change your negative thoughts. You just need to change how you engage with them. Observe them, choose not to believe them, and then let them naturally pass like clouds in the sky. They will pass. They always do.

— Lori Deschene

I seem to need reminders on this, Lol. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl  

Relax your body to feel safe…

The easiest way to raise your vibration is to relax your body. The most essential way to relax your body is to slow your breath. The most effective way of slowing your breath is by loving your own heart. One “I love you” at a time, your breath is inspired into a slower pace, which reminds the body to feel safe enough to relax, as your vibration elevates into higher frequencies of light. This is the heart of transformation.

— Unknown 

I tend to be a Type A over-achiever and feel-good pleaser. But I’ve also learned about the physical and emotional cost of walking on egg shells.  So I continue to work on slowed breathing, calming self-talk, yoga, spending time with animals, good friends and anything that lowers my stress level. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Dealing with worry…

Any time that you are worried about something say to your higher self, “Take this, I release this over to you, rearrange it, transform my thoughts, feelings and experience regarding this, it’s yours now, do with it as you see fit, hand it back to me if it’s worth receiving.” After saying and doing that, do you feel lighter? If you do, that’s because you’ve just removed your focus from that which was holding you in a place of discomfort or resistance. You’ve started to come back into alignment with your best self and the solution that you have been looking for. 

— S. G. Ruddy - @aMessageOfLove

I don’t know about you, but I felt a sense of ease and relief just reading that. Studies actually show that a significant portion (one study claims 85%) of things people worry about never materialize, and even when they do, they’re easier to handle than expected. I need to keep this top of mind! Just sayin’ ; ) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Words matter…

My therapist taught me that…

That words matter. Instead of saying “I can’t” say “It’s not a priority for me right now.” 

Replace “I’m jealous of them” with “I’m inspired by them.” 

Replace “I have to do this” with “I get to do this.” 

Replace “I failed” with “This attempt didn’t work.” 

Replace “Why is this happening to me?” with “What am I learning from this?”

Words matter, because even if you don’t fully mean them, your brain can’t tell the difference.

— @latenightepiphanies

I notice I’ve been sulking lately. And fair enough, given my mother’s passing and the resulting fall out with my siblings, and some friends too. Your foundation shifts when you lose both parents, and I’ll give myself the breathing room to adjust. But I also know from excellent therapy and life coaching that slipping into a victim, or poor me, mode is a trap. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl