Healing will make you angry. And if it hasn’t yet, you probably haven’t gone deep enough. There is a rage that lives beneath survival. A rage that builds when you realize how much of your life was shaped by someone else’s dysfunction. How much of your personality is a byproduct of having to survive chaos. How many of your choices were never really choices at all, just coping mechanisms disguised as decisions. And when you finally see it, when you feel it fully, it’s not pretty. But it’s necessary. Because anger is clarity. Anger is boundaries forming in real time. Anger is the nervous system screaming, “I’m not safe yet.” Let yourself feel it. It’s not the end of healing. Sometimes, it’s the beginning.
— Unknown
My favourite therapist diagnosed me with a “broken compass” because I avoided anger, and other “negative” emotions. I grew up in a volatile environment, with both parents throwing temper tantrums. All I saw was destruction, and so I made it a point to minimize anger in my life. What I didn’t know is the importance of anger, managed well, in helping us draw healthy boundaries and helping us make sound decisions. I am no longer afraid of anger. I’ve learned how to express myself, even while upset, and my partner and I “invite” each other to share our feelings and experiences. The outcome is always a win-win. It’s very cool. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO
Blessings,
Chatgirl
