Love requires patience…

Love isn’t something natural. Rather it requires discipline, concentration, patience, faith, and the overcoming of narcissism. It isn’t a feeling, it is a practice. 

— Erich Fromm 

Well, certainly when you get past the “honeymoon phase” anyway, Lol. I got married (twice) with rose-tinted glasses, and learned about my deal breakers after the fact. So I would say, carefully choosing the right partner goes a long way in having the capacity for patience, discipline and selflessness. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Normality is overrated…

Normality is a paved road: It’s comfortable to walk, but no flowers grow.

— Vincent Van Gogh

I don’t know about you, but I really like being comfortable, Lol. In fact, I’ve stayed in relationships far too long, hoping to avoid the break up phase. I hate moving, I hate losing custody of certain friends in the process, and often your pals are hitched, leaving you to find new single folks to hang out with. Having said that, I wouldn’t have met the love of my life (going on 10 yrs now) otherwise. So, as much as comfort and routine rule, there’s something to be said for making a change, and shooting higher. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Until you accept this…

You Cannot Move On Until You Accept This

• You will not receive closure in every situation, but you can create it for yourself
• Most of what other people do is about them, not you
• Some things cannot be explained
• Some people won’t apologize because they can’t
• You cannot change people, no matter how much you think they need to change. People change themselves

@nedratawwab

I wish I could go back and tell my younger self. I finally figured out my deal breakers, but not until after two divorces, duh. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Anytime you’re worried…

This is life changing

Any time that you are worried about something say to your higher self, “Take this, I release this over to you, rearrange it, transform my thoughts, feelings and experience regarding this, it’s yours now, do with it as you see fit, hand it back to me if it’s worth receiving.” After saying and doing that, do you feel lighter? If you do, that’s because you’ve just removed your focus from that which was holding you in a place of discomfort or resistance. You’ve started to come back into alignment with your best self and the solution that you have been looking for.

— S. G. Ruddy 

I need to do this more often. I know when I “surrender” on something I have no control over I feel immensely better. And the solution comes. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Hold on to hope…

Sometimes, hope is the bravest things we can hold onto. It’s not about ignoring reality but about believing in the good that’s yet to come. It’s recognizing that the pain you feel today is a sign that you’re moving, growing, and still fighting.

True strength isn’t just about holding on; it’s also knowing that you’re strong enough to face tomorrow, no matter what it brings. It’s understanding that every sunrise is a chance to start anew, even when the night has been too long. 

So, hold on to hope. Not because life is easy, but because you are tougher than anything it throws your way. Your heart’s resilience is your superpower. Embrace it, and let hope be the light that guides you through the darkest times. 

— Unknown 

Research has shown that hope has a positive impact on mental health and well-being; reducing stress and anxiety levels, improving coping skills, enhancing motivation, increasing life satisfaction and promoting healing and recovery. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Small things you can do…

Small things you can do every day to become much healthier:

• Drink 2 cups of water upon rising 
• Stretch your body for 10 minutes 
• Take the stairs
• Roll your eyes in different directions more often
• Embrace sunshine for at least 15 minutes during lunch
• Do plank for 1 minute 
• Silence your phone at night
• Read a book for 10 minutes before sleep 

— @Lifehack

These all seem pretty do-able actually. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Your life is shaped by…

The intuition nudges you follow. The friends you confide in. The wounds you heal. The way you treat your body. The moods you nurture. The way you spend your time. The level of optimism you hold. The beliefs you keep. The habits you repeat. The questions you ask. The promises you uphold. The objectives you prioritize. The people you love. 

— Unknown 

There’s a lot to unpack here. What stands out for me is “The people you love.” I needed to learn to love myself first and foremost. In my younger years, I heavily prioritized a romantic relationship, and unfortunately made costly sacrifices. I first chose a very comforting love to feel safe, but overlooked passion (makes sense given the lack of safety I felt growing up). Then I mistook chemistry and sexual attraction for love (understandable, after the lack of sizzle in my first marriage), and overlooked sufficient compatibility. I finally put it all together after trial, error and much therapy, Lol. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Things we grieve…

• The loss of a loved one 
• The loss of a pet
• A break up or a divorce

Things we also might also grieve 

• Major life transitions
• Being unable to achieve a goal or fulfill a dream
• A diagnosis
• Not living the life we hoped we would live
• The effects of big decisions (even when those decisions are ultimately good for us)
• Losing a job or switching careers
• A friendship breakup
• The person we were before something traumatic or life-altering occurred
• Moving to a new location
• A faith transition or a shift in our other beliefs

— Unknown 

This really resonates for me. I can check a lot of these boxes, and I think back to what we mourned during the pandemic. And so many things have changed permanently. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Love is not enough…

You also need; 

• To feel seen and heard
• Trust and respect
• Vulnerability 
• Communication and knowing one another’s needs
• Boundaries
• Honesty
• Being able to retain your sense of self
• For them to understand how you like to be shown care, love and appreciation
• To accept one another, but to also encourage growth

— Aman Aman MBACP (@sonder.therapy) 

I did not achieve this sort of awareness, and relationship capability, until I invested in loads of therapy, life coaching, energy work, and most importantly, the right partner. Just sayin’ ;) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl 

Decisions are simply pivots…

Life gets easier when you realize that there is no such thing as a wrong decision. Decisions are simply pivots. Each one you make will take you down a new road that will likely be both magic & miserable, beautiful and ugly. Because life is a polarity. Easy doesn’t exist without hard. Good doesn’t exist without bad. 

Relax. There is no right answer. Trust that whatever decision you make can always be followed up by another decision. 

— Unknown 

I don’t know about you, but I find this perspective calming and comforting. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl