Family is supposed to be safe…

Family is supposed to be our safe place. Very often, it’s the place where we find the deepest heartache. 

— Iyanla Vanzant

I had a difficult childhood (and family situation in general). I’ve done oodles of individual therapy, group therapy, energy work, EMDR, re-birthing, you name it. I’ve spent a ton of time, energy and money (because none of the work I’ve done is covered by my typically comprehensive healthcare). I’ve also shed rivers of tears. I’d do it all again too because the “work” has helped immensely. But as my favourite therapist says “Some things are just our legacy. We cannot change our family of origin and so there’s an acceptance required.” (I’m paraphrasing of course, but something to that effect). These days it’s common to hear that family can also be the people you choose, who are your safe place, and I love this philosophy. During the pandemic, I remember reading about all the various losses we were all suffering, and one of the surprising ones was acquaintances, such as the people you see regularly at the gym, or your favourite coffee shop or local pub. I couldn’t agree more. I’m lucky enough to enjoy a sweet kinship at a couple of my neighbourhood coffee shops (where 15’ish off us go almost every morning). There’s an unconditional, non-judgmental vibe, where you can totally be yourself. It’s good for the soul. Just sayin’ :) Hugs and good luck. XO

Blessings,

Chatgirl